Wednesday, March 14, 2018

I've sold the weights


 
Oh boy, this used to be me
 
a long time ago
 
 
Now, not waking up with an aching back
and trick knee
is an accomplishment
 
True, I'm thinner now
but it's more like
Saggy Baggy Elephant
 
My husband and I don't eat out much anymore
too much food, and he likes my cooking better
He's still not retired
what will I do when he is following me around the house
 
I like my quiet time
Sometimes I binge watch English mysteries
 
and boy have I learned that I could never write a mystery
at least not the English type
I never figure out the murderer
 
I have let my life be run by others
that has to stop a bit
or Ill shrink away to nothing
...not even saggy baggy left
 
 
 
 
 


Monday, March 12, 2018

a few thoughts

 
 
Something has happened to me this past year
 
I got old
 
 
no, really.
 
in the spirit I got old
 
physically I am just aging..
creaking and aches and all that comes with age
 
But the realization that life is getting harder is not nice
 
 My husband has had health challenges as have I
 
and the funerals that we've attended
 
of dear friends
 
My writing buddy, the one I traveled every year to workshops with
 
died
 
I called her Indigo
like the color of a starry night
 
She once got caught in the woods while at a workshop, and spent the night hugging a tree for safety
one lonely star in the sky as witness
she made it through just fine
but we went back the following year and held a ceremony
at the tree, her tree
and blessed it with incense and beads
 
She was that kind of a person
 
When I went to the hospital to be with her
she was sedated
I leaned over and whispered in her ear
MaryAnn...Indigo. It's Sue
She opened her eyes and tried to sit up
oh
 
She was taken off of life support days later
 
I can't believe she is gone
my hero
She was my Lone Ranger and I was her Tonto
 
Bad enough I haven't written in a year. I lost my writer within
but the loss of my writing buddy has been heartbreakingly paralyzing
 
 
I saw daffodils this morning.
I saw them just outside of my kitchen window, pushing their way into new blooms
pushing through debris and barrenness
 
This touched me
So much in my life has seemed barren
but now I feel a stirring of life within me just aching to bloom again
Maybe sharing a bit with you is a beginning
I have read all my blog friend's blogs but was frozen to write a comment
 
but maybe its Spring within me
 
love
 
 
 
 

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