Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Heart warmers
My just received photos of my grandchildren
and Boo
my bottle fed kitty
An inside day today....my car is in for repair.
It is snowing outside, the kind of snow that you wish for
clinging to trees, muffling sound
Where a Cardinal sits like an ornament of Christmas on a branch
and the squirrels scurry around...noses full of snow
burying the peanuts I have tossed out the door for them...
I have finished one book...now onto the next
my foot almost back to normal.....
But I have rather enjoyed doing home things
like cleaning out a draw or two
sorting through old art projects
discovering old photos
Having a good cry...missing my grandma and grandpa
whose picture I have now put up on the fireplace

 funny....I have the feelings of a little child....I am lonely for them
all of them..that have passed on
I am remembering the ducks at the butcher shop..or were they geese?
I remember rising early to walk with my grandma
knowing I would see the ducks.....
I didn't know then, and she didn't tell me
that they weren't there for my viewing pleasure.
...oh the old ethnic neighborhoods of Chicago
all the churches...one on almost every corner....each ethnic group had their own
 prayer with their own languages....
My grandpa deserted his native language because of the war
but I remember him praying at night in German,quietly, somberly
in the back bedroom..then winding his clock that I wish I had now.
He came here at 17 and never went back home
I wish I knew why.

I wonder as I look at those beautiful children's faces on my bookcase...
what will they remember of me?

I was watching Finn the other day, stayed overnight
and when he awoke we clasped hands and walked down the stairs
and he stopped and looked up at me and said...
"Grandma, I remember when I was a baby (he's 3)
you stayed overnight...
and I loved it."
....warmed my little heart all day

Just as Boo and his antics warm this afternoon
he's found a bug on the floor and he's in heaven
.....the hunt, you know
I think I'm done hunting today...
too many memories for one snowy afternoon


Wednesday, February 20, 2013


In Spring, hundreds of flowers;
in autumn, the harvest moon;
in summer, a refreshing breeze;
in winter, snow will be there with you.
If useless thoughts do not lurk in your mind
any season is a good season for you.
-Chinese koan

Today it's off to daughter's house
..but first a massage
and  house caring to leave it nice for husband while I'm gone
No useless thoughts today
only good season
A cold, sunny winter day



Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Oh, to have a shower like this one.
Why does warm water all over our bodies feel so good
so comforting?
My workouts have hit a few snags latey
and I am not happy about it.
First of all I had some bad Chinese, and then I slipped on a stair
and twisted my instep...of all places
I missed one workout with Jose....the Chinese food
But I showed up with my gimpy foot..stair mishap
and did my workout yesterday....
today.....oh my...my foot is killing me
Sucks being older :)
But I am not a quitter...
Today I am doing some marathon reading
The People of the Book
Has anyone read it?
So far..not bad
I really feel more like reading a beach read
but since I need to rest my foot
I guess I better take advantage of the time on the couch
and finish my book club book.
I feel like blabbing today, so my post is going to be like an annoying
person sitting next to you on the train who won't shut up..
The California ones were supposed to come today, but they're sick
and won't be coming....blue me...I miss them so much
And yesterday my Clearing catalogue arrived
I immediately contacted my writing buddies
Want to go? To a writing workshop?
heck yes...
So in May we will be heading back to Door County
hip hip hooray
I love that place
But I confess....I have given up writing
dry as a bone and discouraged
It takes so much focus to write
and I have focused on other things
and I can't seen to do both.....
and rejection is a bitch that bites the ego
and my time has been taken up with others
...this is not a complaint....I am needed
but rather an acknowledgment
of what is
The other things that have taken up my time
are remodeling a bath at our new house in Galena
....and redoing a few things around here
So busy...I have not taken time to be
that time that suspends everything
and heals the aching body and soul
and heart
by emptying
My creative being is weighed down
and I can't seem to stir her
she is in exile...bitch
She is pity potting
licking her wounds
I have let her have her space, hoping she will get it out and wallow a bit
then..show up....nope, hasn't happened
Instead she has reached me and drawn me closer to her
and I find myself withdrawing even more from the creative spirit
except for making 33 valentines for April's party

But the bad news was, I missed the party because I had to meet with the contractor
in Galena....oh, that group is such a collective of creative spirits
Maybe getting ready to go to Door County
having to polish a few stories to submit for comment
may get my juices flowing again
..but then I ask myself..flowing toward what..
the ocean of every other disheartened writer
time to slay a dragon
I think
....just listening to myself moan
is an eyeopener
a few dragons...
Okay, I understand if you have gotten up
and found a new seat on the train

Friday, February 8, 2013


"Honestly, you've got to be kidding"
I said to Jose today
when he showed me our next step together
"Oh,no....I can't do that"....I said
as he fitted the loops around my shoes
and told me to lift my hips off of the mat


"I'm old!  This will kill me"
I pleaded...
"Up with those hips and now bring your knee to your chest"
.....and it didn't stop there
I had to do push up and squats and flys
with those wicked straps around my hands...
....but you know what
I had almost perfect form....and I did what he asked
and I was sweating and my heart was pumping away
...I loved every minute of it
After the torture was over
my mom ( who does the treadmill while I train )
well, we went out for a bowl of good chicken soup
comfort soup
Oh, am I going to feel it in the morning...
and that is a good thing


Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Work out

Lately I have been feeling like
Practical Magic meets Enchanted April

 I wish I were Stockard Channing at times
kick ass, bad mouthed, brass balled


but alas
I'm not...
very often
But I am happy to report that there is a new man
in my life
....now don't get all freaked out
He's my new personal trainer
and he is kick ass....
my ass
But in a good way.....
I keep telling him to go easy on me
...I'm old
He rejects that
and raises the weight

Good golly
It feels so good to be back with a trainer
to be back at the gym
...ah such perfume to my nasal passages
and when I leave....I'm high on worked muscles
....such a high
to feel in touch with your body
in touch with muscles that I forgot I had
...oh those little muscles that you find
....Working on my own was not enough
I needed to feel the way I used to feel after a good workout

I tried locating my old crazy trainer
but so awful......I discovered that he died
in a car accident .....

So when I am struggling on my third rep
I think of him.....remembering him
always saying...when I moaned....that
This is no tea party!
The man was brutal
and I loved every minute of it.... him helping me discover my strength
and courage
to hang in there
Now that was and is Practical Magic

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Saturday, February 2, 2013


These photos are from Spay Illinois
They gave me a good laugh...
....hope they brighten your day too
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