Friday, December 12, 2014

It's my birthday......just saying

Next year my mom is hosting a Medicare party for me my age... they are important...consider the alternative!
but the hoopla isn't as important as it was,say when I was  10
I like a phonecall....a
.wish my birthday were in summer
then I could really get some good stuff for the garden....but heck at my age
if I want it I usually buy it myself...Who knows better than me what calls to me at the market
or store?
So....dinner it is today ....with family.......or whoever shows up to sit next to me...
no birthday cake please...watching the blood sugar....
no gifts.....just a smile and a "glad you were born"loving hug
Thanks mom did all the work
to make it happen

Oh...did I tell you my little brother, Tim was born on my birthday 12 years later?
I take my thank you back Mom....nasty trick :)

Thursday, December 11, 2014

whose house is this?

This has been harder than I thought.
I have spent time on the internet researching this topic
and I have found a lot of helpful info 
But to be's a heap of work
We are working on getting them to be dependent on us for feeding
moving the bowl closer and closer each time with us sitting on the floor in front of the bowls
got past that
we have to get them to eat off of our food...chicken
they love it
This morning I came down and I found my husband feeding three of them
out of the jar....
They  have escaped out of the study and are running around the house...they sound like wild horses..
but a good thing is .....noise and the other cats don't seem to frighten them
Now the hardest step....touching them
So far I have touched two.....cornered them in the closet
I held them tight to me and talked to them
they calmed down and let me hold them....
no bursting heart hissing no biting or scratching
But boy were they happy to be let down
Hank the tank and Mr Grumbles are still to be touched and held
But boy...I needed this job like a hole in the head
The parents have forgiven me and are showing up twice a day to be fed and are using the heated house outside on the deck
....not the ideal life for  beautiful cats but it works for them
My Boo, Ms.Kitty O'Shea and Abigail seem to get along with them just fine
I think it is good for them to have adult cats to mentor them
I wish

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

a still house, a stirring heart

They have all left now
There are still dishes to wash
towels to be picked up
sheets to change and books to be put away
The silence of the house was closing in on me
in an odd way
So what did I do
I put on Josh Groban's Christmas CD
tears started to fall....good tears
How I love my family
and how much do I love them all together
a neat trick if you can do it
It is Finn's 5th birthday today
we are going to CHOO CHOO Johnny's
Where our meal is delivered by a little train
how fun is that?
Then off to Build a Bear...heh, that's what he wants
Then later they will be off to the Bulls game with Grandpa
Grandpa......I have hardly ever talked much about him
Let me tell you
I am married to the kindest, generous loving man on earth
He'd have to be let me keep 7 new cats in the house....
they are all doing well
But the day is coming soon when I will have to let go of the precious kittens
all of whom I have let into my heart
....but we must love
and we sometimes must let go
Just like waving at the suv pulling away from my driveway
my grandchildren crying in the back seat and waving goodbye
Our hearts heal...but they never least not mine
Life and love go on
as it should
But for today I will be a bit sad
the house so quiet now

Saturday, November 29, 2014

and then there were 4

Early Thanksgiving morning, while it was still dark
while we were hurrying to leave the house to head to our home in Galena
I found a precious kitten had passed away during the night
I cried so hard
We called him Artful Dodger...Artie for short
Rest in peace little one....
life is so unfair

where we are born
to whom we are born
the worth of our birth
so random
But Little kitty, you were loved by me
and for this I can take comfort

Friday, November 21, 2014


You can't imagine how exhausted I am
dead tired
but I got him...the last hold out
who sob sob spent the frigid night outside all by himself
I would tell you about the comedy routine it was watching the last two
try and get the food out of the trap without going inside
ha!...don't they know the trap maker figured that one out
but it was pure giggles watching it
Finally the little gray one just had to go in....snap!
I got him right away...but that sent the big one I call
Joey white toes
sent him under the deck
...until this morning
when he finally came out from under the deck
and he too let his hunger get the best of him
and believe me...he wasn't the last one trapped for nothing
what a toughie....I really had my hands full with that little guy
and scratches to prove it
but all is calm for now
they're eating, sleeping playing
and watching tv
Mom and dad....Fiona and Ralphie
are safe downstairs recuperating
and now to get ready for daughter in law and the kids to arrive tonight
..I told you I'm exhausted
thanks for listening
I'm sorry I've bored you about my troubles
..because I know most people don't care for cats
....but maybe you care about me
so thanks

Thursday, November 20, 2014

I got two
one last cried all night for its mom
an eerie sad call
My husband, of all people went downstairs and held it for twenty minutes
holding it and comforting he thinks he's the cat whisperer
Early this morning I put out another trap
and phew the kittens came flying out of the igloo on the deck..ha ha
they are smart ones afterall...there's a warm pad in there
I put the trap out and bam I got one right away
I have trapped the two small females....hmmm
I picked up Henry Ralph and Fiona this morning
they are resting in a large dog crate.....cost me big bucks here
Now there are 3 traps outside
it is cold but sunny...and when I got back from the clinic
the three remaining kittens were running up and down my horsechestnut tree
I tell you....this has been the hardest thing for me to do...trap an animal
I am a wreck
but I have succeeded thus far
rescuing two adult cats from continuous kittens and hunger, disease, and injury 
and kittens who were doomed to have maybe an even harder life
through no fault of their own....dumb people who value nothing
OH....I got another one
bye! !!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

I got 2
5 to go....but 5 little ones
This is not pictures of them, only what they look like
they are in traps in my basement and garage
that are draped in heavy blankets to quiet them in darkness
The kittens are alone outside
I was hoping to get them first, but I am happy to have gotten anyone
I guess sardines is the trick
I transport them tomorrow at 6:30 am to a low cost feral clinic
for spaying and neutering
I bought a large dog crate to house them in while they recover
and I hope to get the kittens tomorrow
Oh and my mom's test came back fine
She's in better health than me
It was a welcome distraction today taking her for her test
She is sympathetic about the felines
My son...who just arrived from California
thinks his mom is nuts 
maybe I am
but I'm too far in to turn back

gin joint

I didn't seek this or want this
I didn't let my cat out or dump it unspayed

to have kittens
in someone else's garden
other people did this to these poor creatures
But of all the gin joints in the town they walked into mine
When I was 12 I used to see this little boy on my walk home
He always waited for me and walked alongside of me the length of his block
It got cold and he showed up with a too short coat with no buttons
and he didn't have a hat or gloves
it was so cold that I took him home
I shutter to think of what I did looking back
asking a small child to come home with me
But I did
and I took him in the house, made him some hot chocolate
while I found mittens and a hat for him
and went into my mother's button tin and found buttons
to sew on his coat
Then I walked him back home
and I don't think anyone missed him
but he was warm and happy
His name was Mikey
I have not changed
Wish me luck today....I am setting up the traps
what I'll do after that...I am not sure
I hope I get the kittens first
they still have a chance at a home
The other two....they are doomed to be feral cats
But I am taking on the task
they will be under my care
and I don't know how I'll handle all of this
but these are the least of these
and like with Mikey
I will

Monday, November 17, 2014

It's going to be 1 degree wind chill tonight
11 degrees actual temp
and I have 5 little fur balls under my deck
who the mom keeps moving back and forth between my deck and my neighbor's
Finally she brought them to eat....showed them the food bowl
and they haven't stopped eating
they love the warm chicken I provide
I went to the feral cat class to learn how to trap them
....these women have been in the biz a long time
they talk about the cats like they are nothing me ...I have an emotional investment in their wellbeing right now
...yesterday the mom cat was on to me and hid the kittens
....and then both my daughters showed up with kids
and there went that...
I missed this morning's spay appointment
try again Tuesday the woman at the clinic said
what if I get a kitten first....which I would bring inside and try to get it used to people
so it can have a chance at getting a home with a family
not to live its life outside as a feral
I am certain the mom will hide them from me or disappear
only.....I have the warm chicken
Oh I have a stomach ache thinking about all this responsibility
and to make things worse....what do I do with mom after I take her in
with entire belly this cold...oh dear...
and My family is coming in from California for Thanksgiving and we are going to galena
what will I do with a cat or kitten if I catch it?
I know you can't help me....but I just have to get it out
oh dear...would you believe I just looked out my patio door and there is another
cat looking in?

Monday, November 10, 2014

yep,those be kittens

good golly
why me?
I thought she just looked Prego... then not
She continued to come around 3 times a day ...ravenous
but no kittens
until yesterday
when I looked out and saw four
then later the black cat escorted a little orange one over
from my neighbors deck
so far 5 little felines
Oh dear and winter is just around the corner
I am now in contact with the local feral cat rescue
I don't like to do it but I have to save the babies
and then I will take on caring for the two adults
who will be neutered
such a thing...I have to pay for all of this
good thing I have a wonderful husband who cares about animals
and me and my heart
The little gray one with two white toes on his back feet and one white toe on his front paw
has stolen my heart.....
But I have order in my house
and bringing in another one would possibly cause chaos
Remember that all the cats I have..3...
are rescued
and I had 3 summers of finding kittens homes
you run out of kind friends
And remember my beloved Handsome who I took care of for 10 years
and Beautiful ...and so many other wayward felines and two dogs
My family is coming for Thanksgiving from California
and I have to help my mother take her driver's test and some medical tests
and my daughter is sick and could use my help with Walter
heavens to Betsy......
and I am leading my book club discussion on Labor Day by Joyce Maynard
on Friday's all about love

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Monday, October 13, 2014

it isn't a kitty
but who knows what lurks just outside our doors
unless we put on the light and look out
we never know
This little guy was there with two raccoons
... the wounded one and another one just as big
the bigger one was on his hind legs swinging at the wounded one
I yelled out and opened the door
they all ran!!!
My husband said...are you crazy!
only the little skunk came back
and I turned off the light and went to bed

This morning, Bart and Hazel were waiting patiently for their breakfast
my, they are getting big....and no sign of any kittens


Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Writing group tonight
We are supposed to be thinking about writing something on the topic of
embers and flames
..gosh I hate prompts
I threatened to write a haiku
...gasps heard around the room
Really and truly
I tried
but, they are getting a haiku
Flaming maples leaves
Room 9,Central Hospital
Winter comes, let go
I have been bummed out for a few days
overhearing something at the drugstore
not ready to write about it
last workshop it was suggested to us
to eavesdrop
catch a story
I caught one
a horrible shocking thing
that stays hooked
in me
how to make a story out of it
...all under 1000 words
The kitties are still coming
along with a big fat wounded raccoon
he sits by them like a bear
..oh...why me?

Friday, September 26, 2014

Little orange and black Glory showed up yesterday
minus belly
oh dear, dear, dear,
I wonder how many dears she had and where
She came late this morning, after her sibling, and ate hastily
but finished every bit
We were going to Galena this weekend...but oh my who will feed her..them?
I guess I will ask my mom to come late on Saturday and early on Sunday
a lot to ask of her...but I will

It is Fall already and they have just been time cold weather comes
they will still be little...
I thought I was through with cat rescuing
three years in row I rescued mom cats and kittens
found homes for them.....
got the rascal cat, Handsome, to finally except his shelter and that I was friend not foe
how I still miss that guy and his garbage truck meow
I slow roasted a chicken yesterday and today I am making broth
out of the bones and vegetables left in the bin
smells good.....such a Fall thing to do...make soup
I am trying to go back on my low carb/high fat/moderate protein diet
but it works...and I need to control my blood sugar
but the boredom....but I guess I have made cooking and eating too much of a sacred act
I need to get back to my workouts and walking...though I hate walking
I would rather spend hours lifting weights than walk aimlessly
I have a heel spur acting up right now, so that may be coloring my thinking
Tonight we join the kids and the grandkids at The United Center
for a pre-season hockey game
GO HAWKS.....oh I how I love watching hockey games...who knew?
I did manage to write something for Thursday's writing group
but alas they did not like my opening...said I was telegraphing the murder
ohhhhhh.....that was the point...I wanted you to know that he had murdered his wife
and was now playing the suffering husband looking for his missing wife
Sometimes I think they read and stop to quickly...finish goes where you don't expect it to
But they were persistent...and they didn't understand what ley lines were
I suppose I may take that criticism add a bit of info in there for those readers
who are not aware of ley important element in this story
curses.....back to the keyboard
I may give them what they want...but they'll see
my way was better.....
...Now off to make the bed and wash the morning dishes and vacuum
pay the bills and avoid the writing as much as I can

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

The kitties still are coming around twice a day to be fed.

I will do my best to build them a feeding shelter
and a housing shelter
I wonder if they will use it? together?
they won't go near Handsome's shelter
oh well I will do my best.
Thanks to all you dear animal lovers, especially the cat lovers
for all your ideas and sympathy
Yesterday I spent the day with my two daughters and their babies
and of course, Finn
He cheats at chutes and ladders
but he cuddles good, especially if I scratch his back while watching
the Cat in the Hat
I'm back to my writing group
feels good to be doing something creative
My entire spring and summer was occupied with house stuff
finding new places to put things or getting rid of things...installing new floors and painting
I have too much husband is right...darn.
Fall is here and I am glad....went to Galena this past week
...more work there!  But boy when I hit that spot in the road where Illinois becomes
valleys and hills and magical blue
I went to meet a guy about a driveway......and a tree guy about planting more trees
maybe a Catalpa and a those
Everything went well except for my cable ,internet, and phone being out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was alone with my thoughts all evening and morning......a dangerous thing I tell you
I ate too much and spent more money in my mind on that old house then my husband could ever bare
but the cable guy came the next day....(.threatening to throw the darn equipment out the window
may have helped)
It was a quick trip to Galena..I had to return home.....meeting the gutter guy back there on Saturday
....and today I finally hung the drapes in the family room....which I would love to replace
but I dare not ....if I want to make it to year 44 of marriage and sorted through books and books and books...and loaded my car up with stuff for I guess I did get something done
Did I ever tell you about the swat team that was in front of my house this year
oh no?  I bring this up... it swirling through my mind trying to leap out an idea for the page.....
what with writing group tomorrow..and I don't want to work on anything I already have....but it doesn't work...I guess I'm stuck with the guy whose GPS leads him to dead end cornfield and a crop circle....sigh
And coming home last night from my daughter's
I spotted a squad car in front of me cutting its lights off as it turned left I wanted to follow it....but it was late and I had been driving for an hour already
and the kitties would be waiting morning glories...
so I took a pass
I guess I have rambled on too much...all in an attempt to get my writing juices flowing
but my keyboard is sticking horribly
so I'll just have mercy on you all and say Oh bother and  goodnight

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Morning glories

Twice a day my morning glories show up
This morning they were actually sitting on my deck
getting-brave kitties
The black one listens to me talk
only a few yards away.....having run into the deep flowerbed when I approach the door
The tortoiseshell one is very afraid...fidgety
Would you believe they ate 4 cans of food!
The other night I looked out my door and saw two young skunks
pawing around my garden....cute they are....but please don't stay I said to myself
and last night I peered out the window and there was a possum
with a large belly that dragged along the grass
I called my husband to see it...oh he said...her pouch must be filled with little ones
oh dear.....
But on my mind is winter
what will I do about the cats?

I suppose you think that all I do is feed animals
one of those old ladies
 I help all in need who share the path of life with me
human and beast.....a fruit of faith I suppose

The garden morning glories are blooming their heads off
This year I bought blue ones in a pot then just cast a seed packet of purple ones into the garden
..'cause planting them never seemed to work..
and wulllllah!  they sprouted and I have them all over!

I once read an essay about ....a curmudgeonly pessimistic old man
 who got a seed packet in the mail as a promotional gimmick
Bah..he said
then shoved the packet into his coat pocket and took his daily walk
It was toward the end of autumn.
.He reached into his pocket for his lighter to light his pipe and felt the seed packet
He lifted the packet out and ripped it open
and emptied the seeds into his hand then flung them along the road
across from his house

of course they all took ones
across the road from his house
he smiled

That little essay stayed with me
and I often think of that man.....a man I knew.....
A man who had little regard for things
but he was given a gift that day
when he walked out of his house and remembered that he had planted them
sort of....planted them with no faith the size of a mustard seed...I remember that one too

That man died two years ago but his experience lives on in me

I have never had luck with poppies....
but the cast morning glory seeds filled my being
 when they opened

We all have a wee bit of hope
that resides in us and some days
 we take a leap
reach out to the universe, we
and it happens

May you be given a gift today


Saturday, August 9, 2014

Here's a shot of my late summer garden, yes only one photo..from my picture file
Blogger simply won't let me publish photos from Picasa
and what's a garden blog...or any blog without photos?
I am 62...oops...63 years old, and slowing down
so this year I let live
...even abandoned weeding because of a nasty case of poison ivy
...even my landscaper got how did that stuff get into my garden
The red twig dogwoods are puckering out too
...they may go this fall
The lilies...what can I say...they are divine creations of the Great Gardener
 faithful to grow
 and astound me when morning, afternoon and evening light passes through their delicate petals
I could just stare at them forever
As I would stare at sunflowers
stare may not be the right word.....sit in worship of them
worship with a small w
and of course the marigolds.....I hear they are making a comeback
yippee.....I have always loved these warriors of the garden
lovely in pots......blooming until they freeze to death......
Medals of honor should be bestowed on there lifeless bodies after the first frost
Maybe I will make up a ceremony...
It has been a cooler than usual summer and a wet one at times
..ha...I am never happy it seems...can fault that dang weather anytime
But was beautiful
Did I tell you...oh of course not...I haven't been blogging....
but have I told you that I am graced again with kitties at my deck black and its mate or sibling is orange and black
oh dear......what am I going to do if they have kittens under my deck?
there is a no vacancy sign on my door
But my heart simply breaks when I think about dear, dear, feral  cat
 Who the last time I saw him....over a year ago I think
was so very very sick
I recall that he ate his warmed up chicken and meowed his pitiful meow
then turned and walked into the garden bushes
and I never saw him again..oh how I miss that rascal
We will meet again I'm sure
A few times this summer I swear he rubbed up against me in the garden
something he would never do... because of his great fear
but where he is.... maybe he has no more fear
only love

I see this is posted on my other blog...sorry
it has been so long that I have blogged I goofed up
I hope you excuse how do I post this on my garden blog?

Thursday, May 22, 2014

This weekend is their first trip to Galena
Maybe I'll take them over to see our friend Barb's new donkeys
...well....they might remember it...couldn't they?
It will be a full house...just like we like
except for the California ones.....Oh...did I tell you
 we are going there in june!!!
I am finally getting over this nasty virus....almost a month!
and the floors....well.....there's stain, sanding and coating tomorrow
upstairs....then onto the living room and the study and foyer
I can't wait to get back to normal around here
but being house bound has given me much to ponder
and it isn't pretty
aging is a B
and one cannot exist on mac and cheese and pretzels

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Every year in the springtime two Mallards appear in my garden 
I love to hear their quacking
Once they made a nest...with an egg...but alas, they abandoned it for some reason
 they are truly the sign that I wait for
before exhaling......Spring!!!
It has rained hard here lately...the ducks even had a few puddles to swim in...truly they did

The new wood floors  going in upstairs are almost finished
But it has been a nightmare for the cats
and me
I have been sick for a week with a virus of the ..can't lift my head off the couch..kind of virus
...sanding...pounding..banging, grinding.....stain and varnish
yikes...I don't think I am going to make it
My house looks like a hoarders ...stuff everywhere
and next week..they head downstairs
We have moved around the house at night...going from one bedroom to another
as they move us out of them
The kitties are stressed beyond belief
Abigail cries at night not knowing where we are
and Boo....well , Boo....he thinks its party time
Old Lady Ms Kitty one is moving her....
I finished that awful book.....hated every word of it...creepy
I watched the author on youtube
explained a lot to me
But the worst thing is I missed my Bookies book club discussion about it
sick......if only I had known..I could have spared myself
I am a difficult reader to please...just ask my book group
My dear mother brought over a cozy mystery for me by M.C.Beaton
Agatha Raisin mystery...Busy Body
Agatha is vain, bossy and always where the bodies are.....
gosh I love her
just what a sick woman needs while sipping hot tea and lemon
Pictures of the floors when they are finished

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

I ask this the mug of a happy cat?
Eight teeth had to be extracted
and to make things worse, I am having the worst back spasms ever dear husband....had to do the deed...take Abigail in to the vet
day before..nothing after 10pm
WHAT!? was the panicked response from the entire household cat population
nothing????!  but I like to munch and nash at night
too bad....but it worked....Abigail..the shy...showed up promptly at 6:30am
for food
I told my husband we have one shot at grabbing her.....Boo understands English
snitched.......but in the end we got her.....and  that lean over caused me 2 days of bedrest
hello.....the flooring guys are coming soon....too bad there also
Now I am the traitor......I don't think Abbey will ever let me pet her again
Good grief, I can't sit or stand for more than 10 minutes at a time before
my back goes into spasms.....good grief......I hate this
I am a doer......
I know what sent my back out....that two days of 70 degrees
the garden.......clean up...raking
but oh dear it was worth it.....I think I came alive again in that fresh air
that dirt....that bloodroot and bluebells poking through the ground
But for now it's me on the bed with a book
The \Time Traveler's Wife....not enjoying it so far....maybe it's the Tiger Balm getting to my brain
I'll miss my writing group tonight.....
I was working on a story about a hoarder....who slowly becomes the junk
...good stuff......
At least the mind still works

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

My heart is melting toward Spring
Robin Red Breast sang early this morning outside of my window
 I stirred to the light of sunrise,
 roused to get up and open the just listen.

I went downstairs in my fuzzy slippers and put on a pot of coffee,
opened the patio door to hear the symphony going on
The cats heard it too and stretched and walked into the room
and lined up by the bird watch

Miss Kitty O'Shea is feeling much better. Her nail had grown inward into her paw
and she had to have a visit to the vet last week......something she detests
...there are lesser creatures dogs
But she survived the ordeal just fine and is on the mend....I even caught her walking upstairs! good when you really need them.
 Abbey goes next week for a teeth cleaning,
that should be fun.....not
Little Boo hasn't got a clue that this going to happen to him, too. ..a visit to the vet
for his yearly.....When I took Miss Kitty he freaked at seeing her in the carrier,
wailed like I had never heard before, tail and body fur 2 times its normal funny
He and Abbey hid all day......ha ha he goes next week

I have been going to bed smelling like an old lady lately.....arthritis cream on my arms and legs
not pretty
But we are getting wood floors put in upstairs and the man said everything has to come out of the closets and small things out of the rooms...he'll move the big furniture
yikes! Good thing I have been cleaning out the closets this dreadful winter.
But I'm telling you this is not a job for the weak or frail
.....I am so sore from packing stuff into bins, hauling them into the basement,
....I have too many clothes and shoes
....kept too much of my children's childhood
...too many art supplies and writing books, notebooks, poetry folders
.....too much jewelry and perfume
.....too much

I know I will not be putting it back into my closets or rooms
...Book cases are going to be pared
Writing notebooks gone through
Goodwill will be the recipient of many shoes, belts
purses and clothes that I hoped to get back know how that goes

I will not be hosting  Easter dinner
This I know for sure


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

You would have thought a Prince was about to be born
all the family gathered around
for his appearance
worth the wait...of course
He smiled at everyone....
Daughter Sarah is beaming
and resting
Oh I like days like these
Even great grandma was there to share in the joy
7lbs 1 oz
21 inches long
Mom had to have a rush c-section
and Walters blood sugar is a bit high
so there are a few things to take care of still
he'll be in nicu for 36 hours
We came home in a ice ball storm
and woke up this morning to a winter wonderland
of very heavy 5-6 inches of snow
Branches on the trees bending weighted down by this white stuff
Oh well......nothing came wreck my good mood today
 thank you for your prayers and good wishes

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

crossed fingers and prayers

Blogger has it out for me
I am unable to upload pictures, and it is not a storage problem
I like to blog along with a photo...I guess because I like pictures
But, oh well, I am getting frustrated going into my computer to post pictures
So today it is just words.

Little Walter is still not here, so the doctors are going to induce my daughter.

Funny how our mom hats go right back on, competing with my grandma hat
No fear, there is room for both.
I am too nervous to tackle any more projects....only pacing to await a call
to come to the hospital.
Yesterday it was 55 degrees outside...can you believe it? Miss Kitty O'Shea hogged up the opened screened door, basking in warm sunlight on her aching joints. Age has its privileges.

Much of the snow has melted....but oh dear, we are going to get 6-8 inches tonight.
that should make good traveling on the toll way.  Maybe we will go will only be raining with 40 mph winds. :-O

What I love about this event is the pulling together of the family. Major events do that.
We put aside our squabbles and different opinions and just love one another.
Our circle about to get bigger.


Friday, March 7, 2014

Still no baby
So I decided to tackle another project
cleaning my pantry
Have you ever looked at expiration dates on your spices?
and really how many cans of tomato sauce do I need
and what's with all these nuts?!
It is a beautiful blue sky day...I even opened the kitchen window
..I had a Swedish girlfriend who always told me to fling open the windows in the winter
air the house out or risk getting sick
Gosh I miss her. Her name was Sigrid
She had many sayings...
Like " you've got 5minutes to cry about it.....then get yourself back up"
"Your kid will always remember that you were there"
'If all else fails, bake bread"
I moved away and lost contact with her...I've tried to find her...but I think she remarried and
that was that.
I will be busy this summer with two new grandchildren..
.Tuula is growing so fast...
and praise the Lord..she is just like her mother
and you mother's out there know what I meant by that :)
And hopefully Walter will be born any minute now...!!
 I sense the years going by quickly
and I thought today that I must reconnect to my girlfriends...
I  somehow have been very busy these past years and going through much sadness
to connect much....
.But finding Sigrid's old large wooden spoon
in my kitchen drawer has given me pause.....
I need my girlfriends
I may even make up with one .....
that I truly do miss.....but ticks me off
the days are passing by fast....time to let go of the negative energy
that has kept me mad at her for 8 years
I think I may call her...listen to her drop the phone
....this could be good

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

The only one that is focused in this house is Boo
 I had to move my oxalis plant off of the cabinet
so he could get a catbird seat view
Why just look at that little sparrow...braving the window sill
Boo jumped and all the birds flew away
but they'll be back
It has been snowing for hours now
.....I am at my wits end with this winter
truly, I know we are all mostly in this same boat
but what happens to US is the most important
I can't seem to stay focused on anything but the weather
Friends call to bitch about it
and I listen sort of......
I have been making use of my time served
to clean out closets....but that is really a dangerous thing to do
I found a letter from 1969 from my brother
talking about how afraid and nervous he was to go to Viet Nam
He made it through Nam but died months after returning home
in a car accident.........but really  another victim of the war
I found colorings from my children when they were preschoolers
and old pictures....was I really that thin and cute? I wish I would have known that then
I spent my whole adult life feeling underordinary
It wasn't until I turned fifty and joined a bunch of crazy women
that I really found out who I was.....and I have enjoyed her ever since
It is hard to prune one's life of old clutter.....but I think there comes a time
when it is a must
So being in the mood I have been lately
I dived in
showing no mercy
closets should be cleaned and sorted by

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Miss Kitty O'Shea and I feel the same
We have both have been on a diet
during the longest winter ever
and we are crabby
It doesn't help that my daughter is overdue
Her baby was due March 1
and the last time I looked it is March 4th
Every day I try to console her....he'll come...he'll come when he's ready
poor thing...She can't sleep and has terrible heartburn
and she still gets up and goes to work
Heck, back in the day...hate that expression....but
back in the day....I stopped driving after my 5th month
and I babied myself......nothing has changed...If I want babying, I have to do it myself
no one takes pity on a 63 year old grandma
They just think I can do it......I always have
But hey, I am slowing down
exercise is getting harder
eating more restrictive,
I need Spring!
I know it will help my attitude to smell the wet glorious earth warming up
and to see a daffodil ...heck I want to see sunflowers!
oh and to hear the early morning song of the robin on my rooftop
oh, a woman can still have dreams
green...I want to see green
green grass, green leaves, green frogs
I feel better already
now if only I can get Picasa to post to blogger

Wednesday, February 26, 2014

My Beautiful Woman: ความลับของเจน 3/3

I love the things you can find on YouTube
This one is simply stunning in its message
get a hankie ready......good stuff coming

Saturday, February 8, 2014

relief from winter

It's only flurries
but really
and to top things off, I'm not feeling well today
too much popcorn at the movie theater yesterday
the movie was excellent
Labor Day
based on the book by Joyce Maynard
which I have ordered
...something to look forward to
I want to see if the director's vision
matched the author's
For a few hours I was transported to New Hampshire
a sweltering weekend in 1987
ahhh...the power of a good story
and a wonderful filmmaker
let it snow

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