Monday, July 30, 2012

image from google

I love to walk labyrinths
I've walked gravel ones, stone ones
grass ones....almost invisible ones
Did you know that it is said that the center represents
You can't walk a labyrinth quickly
or with haste
You must pay attention and stop
and turn and follow a different way
sometimes a way that seems like the way
you have just left
curious thing
magical thing
this walking....slowly contemplating
then before you know it you are unaware of the path
but only travel it
and when you reach Jerusalem....when I reach Jerusalem that is
I plant my feet and raise my hands
a lighting rod
to God
Then as I slowly walk out..I release it all
the worry, the pain, the panic,the fear,the hurt,the the the.........
let it go, drop it in the small place among my feet
and slowly I walk the way out and
give thanks

Now that's the kind of walking I like to do

Today was the funeral service of fellow blogger
Audrey Carves
She was Lutheran like me
seems there aren't many of us left
But her service was so beautiful
so Lutheran, so reassuring
full of song,Scripture and prayer
I will miss her straight forward words
they don't make 'em like her anymore

Friday, July 27, 2012

This is my youngest, Sarah
I thought I was old when I had her.....32
ha! How things have changed
She is coming over today
she is on teacher break
She is coming over and we are going to go to my mother's
Sarah has been taking a sewing class
and my mom has lots of fabric
She (my mom) will be in sewing heaven today
sharing her fabric with the only female in the family that loves thread and yarn
like she does......I was more like my dad
Below is a picture of my mom taken about 2 years ago
at a woman's group that we belonged to
Simple Abundance.....we studied Sarah Ban Breathnach's book
for 10 years....can you believe that
Really it was a wonderful group of mixed ages
connecting with a page of the book's daily entries
It was shocking sometimes to hear what my mother had to say
I didn't know that...
My mom and I didn't always see eye to eye
I wasn't the easiest teenager
but I had spirit and spunk
something foreign to my mother who was raised in the
Lutheran church of the German kind (and I'm glad  she was..(but that is another topic)
But no one could be happier or prouder to have a mother like her
than me....
.within some internal confines she had a rebel streak too

Sarah is steady and strong
organized and deliberate
and she has the best intuition
and she is kind and compassionate and loving
We should have a wonderful day today
Three females in the big wide world

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Thursday, July 26, 2012

I brought this coaster home from a local restaurant.
I think it scared the heck out of my husband.
hee hee

Well he isn't the only one feeling the years.
When they consistently call you "mam" at the grocery store,
you know you are losing the battle.
And when you get the senior discount at the movie theater
it's all over....or is it?

Heck no
With every weight I lift building strong muscles
and with every new fresh haircut and color ( I said I would like to be gray at 92)
and with every other thing that I do to take care of my body and face
I look better and feel better
A limber body moves like a younger body
move it or lose true
and I still have a "Susie" look to me...who knows for how much longer
so I'm driving my stake in this ground
planting my flag

and humor is a big part of feeling alive
and this coaster gave me a big chuckle
now if I can only get him to see my side of the story

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Finally, my health numbers are down
It didn't happen easily
I had to be deliberate
I have posted about being deliberate before...
It is a way to live
purposeful...if you will
though I have never read the book and don't know if we speak of the same thing.....but
I make choices daily, some good, some bad, some wasteful
So I deserve the life I is and always has been choices
even in the things that were beyond my control
like death or illness
But how do I go on...those have been my choices
I begin again.....over and over

reminding myself of the life I want
remind myself about the dreams...that I still dream at almost 62
I"d like to live to be 92
with long gray hair gracefully braided back
in a feminine way
I want to still garden and write into the morning and night
still enjoy my own company
still love animals...even have a few...maybe many..who knows
I feel comfortable around animals
they get me
I love it when the 3 cats surround me in the evening while
I'm reading a book, counting my carbs for the day, writing a poem while sitting on their sofa
or watching Design Stars like I did last night (my favorite lost, of course)
Animals tell the truth
Sometimes humans don't.
But if you are tuned can read their words intuitively
like you read a cat's face, body, tail

Taking care of myself takes a lot of time
I must be focused....and that means in many and all categories
health,beauty,personal space,being my tag above
I love to collage tags.....thanks to my friend April
who is a master painter and collage artist
She showed me how to open express
This tag was for her annual Valentine's Party where we exchange homemade
valentines......I couldn't go this heart was too broken
But I made valentines as the stirrings came
and I am like a kid looking at them
The theme always LOVE
So I took a hint and went back to what I love to do
I have dug out my book..though there are several actually,
but this one is about me
I think I have something to say to women my age
and maybe even to some younger ones
So out it came...
and I have begun to write
The biggest thing that stopped me was the nagging question
Who am I to lead a way?
But my husband reminded me that I am the one with the open door
always letting in the orphans of being
He says I should put out a shingle
It has taken a lifetime of mistakes and a lot of listening myself
to figure things out....I am a sponge of heart things
And yesterday I found a black glass heart in the parking lot of
the drugstore......sign....Yes, I believe in signs
that's why I get along so well with my friend Elena

Last year when I went away to writing camp/workshop
I told our instructor that I was working on a memoir sort of piece
good good, he said...Did you bring it along?
I am only on chapter 3 I told him and proceeded to show him
 my chapter titles 
OH!!! That is not the way to do it he said....(.clammed right up)
Write first, then chapter titles.

...I left camp and put it away...never to look at it again
Well, after weeks of getting back on track...having more to say
and getting my little black glass heart sign
I dug it out again
......rereading a stewed piece of writing
is interesting......not bad

screw him

I finished chapter 3.......Begin Again
now on to,
Did You Love Your Life?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

When all else fails, make chicken soup

I can't believe that I was making chicken soup this morning
It just happened
I was going through the fridge and looking at what was there
carrots, left over chicken, celery,onion,parsley
a dynamic sweet onion from a farmer's market
I was bewitched......If I had thought about it...I probably wouldn't have made it
It has been oppressively hot lately
But last night it stormed....and today the sky is cloudy and gray
a reprieve from the heat
so what do I do?  Fill the house with the delicious smell of cooking soup
Funny how the house seems humid now.....maybe why winter is when we usually think of soup
But this garden wench took a walk in the garden this morning and it was actually not bad outside
and the finches were cheerfully encouraging me with their chatter

You see... my low carb dieting is never going to get easy
So I came inside and snifffed around the fridge and took action
Just because I won't be eating this soup
my dear husband will love it...the house smells so good
and the AC will take the humidity out soon
and when he walks in the door tonight
he'll at least will be happy'll be eating my left over sausage, peppers,onion and tomatoes
 over melted mozzarella cheese
yummy, no regrets

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

tethered to harbor
 I want to get on this boat
cut the rope of faith

Monday, July 9, 2012

This is the last of the moon photos

swimming in darkness
waiting for the tide to come
conception ocean

Thursday, July 5, 2012

come and play with me
we'll laugh and kick around dreams
winner gets the moon

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

I have cut and snipped
and what remains is all mine
a me miracle

Monday, July 2, 2012

moonstruck illusion
I believed in fairytales
you were just a frog

I carry the moon
though my feet sink into sand
I rise with its light

Sunday, July 1, 2012


you brought me the moon
its light kept me in shadows
you were of darkness
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