Wednesday, July 25, 2012

 
Finally, my health numbers are down
It didn't happen easily
I had to be deliberate
I have posted about being deliberate before...
It is a way to live
purposeful...if you will
though I have never read the book and don't know if we speak of the same thing.....but
I make choices daily, some good, some bad, some wasteful
So I deserve the life I have...choices..it is and always has been choices
even in the things that were beyond my control
like death or illness
But how do I go on...those have been my choices
So
I begin again.....over and over

reminding myself of the life I want
remind myself about the dreams...that I still dream at almost 62
I"d like to live to be 92
with long gray hair gracefully braided back
in a feminine way
I want to still garden and write into the morning and night
still enjoy my own company
still love animals...even have a few...maybe many..who knows
I feel comfortable around animals
they get me
I love it when the 3 cats surround me in the evening while
I'm reading a book, counting my carbs for the day, writing a poem while sitting on their sofa
or watching Design Stars like I did last night (my favorite lost, of course)
Animals tell the truth
Sometimes humans don't.
But if you are tuned in..you can read their words intuitively
like you read a cat's face, body, tail

Taking care of myself takes a lot of time
I must be focused....and that means in many and all categories
health,beauty,personal space,being creative....like my tag above
I love to collage tags.....thanks to my friend April
who is a master painter and collage artist
She showed me how to open up...to express
This tag was for her annual Valentine's Party where we exchange homemade
valentines......I couldn't go this year..my heart was too broken
But I made valentines as the stirrings came
and I am like a kid looking at them
The theme always LOVE
So I took a hint and went back to what I love to do
Write
I have dug out my book..though there are several actually,
but this one is about me
I think I have something to say to women my age
and maybe even to some younger ones
So out it came...
and I have begun to write
The biggest thing that stopped me was the nagging question
Who am I to lead a way?
But my husband reminded me that I am the one with the open door
always letting in the orphans of being
listening
He says I should put out a shingle
It has taken a lifetime of mistakes and a lot of listening myself
to figure things out....I am a sponge of heart things
And yesterday I found a black glass heart in the parking lot of
the drugstore......sign....Yes, I believe in signs
that's why I get along so well with my friend Elena

Last year when I went away to writing camp/workshop
I told our instructor that I was working on a memoir sort of piece
good good, he said...Did you bring it along?
I am only on chapter 3 I told him and proceeded to show him
 my chapter titles 
OH!!! That is not the way to do it he said....(.clammed right up)
Write first, then chapter titles.

...I left camp and put it away...never to look at it again
Well, after weeks of getting back on track...having more to say
and getting my little black glass heart sign
I dug it out again
......rereading a stewed piece of writing
is interesting......not bad

screw him

I finished chapter 3.......Begin Again
now on to,
Did You Love Your Life?





23 comments:

  1. So much truth in what you write...live we must each and everyday...write as you feel fit..and breathe the glory we are daily given...thank you...bkm

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and much glory there is
      thank you B

      Delete
  2. good for you in breaking it back out....we are a product of our choices....and we are either deliberate or it just happens and we lose the choice...i think grey braided hair is def cute...

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  3. oh and i really like the collage...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh and I really like your new mug shot!
      handsome poet

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  4. Well I think a dam has been broken here! When you pour forth, you really pour...beautiful.

    You DO inspire, Suz. Keep pouring forth, all that wisdom serves a purpose :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ha! I listen , I blab
      sometimes it makes sense and I hear

      Delete
  5. Screw him indeed! I have always had a title before writing an essay or term paper, for example. I once told a professor the same thing...told him the title...and he said that a title was the last thing that should be written. Huh? I ignored him. Who are these people to tell us which words to write first or last? From what I can see, read and hear, academics - those who "teach" how to write poetry, are the least qualified to tell anyone how to express emotion.

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  6. Inspiring post Suz, and thank you for sharing. Love the images.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. and your name is John and you are a commentor
      hee hee.....thanks friend...I love red high heels

      Delete
  7. I have a hard time with someone telling someone else how to write. It's such a personal thing, no 2 lives are the same, no 2 journeys.
    I am proud of you for taking the bull by the horns, taking responsibility for your life.
    My bull is currently running wild, indulging in cherry chocolate chip ice cream and thick slices of artisan bread spread with real butter. I know what I need to do, HAVE TO DO, but I have a rebelious streak a mile wide and denial runs deep.
    You do have much to say, and are a leader by nature, I will get in line and learn.

    P.S. Those are some kick-ass red shoes :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. send me your address and I'll send you the card
      will that do?
      And if I don't take care of myhealth...harder and harder as I age....when will I?
      and looking good and feeling good are side effects
      that I like
      I love red high heels....good thing I still can wear them
      health...take care of it Red

      Delete
  8. Yes, screw him. Instructors are so full of themselves.
    Why do we wait so long, delay our own truth and listen too intently to other people's opinions?
    Now is the time for action.
    Write your heart out sweetie.

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  9. Ah, you revealed your blog title with this post!
    Good for you, for trying, for believing, for taking chances, for living with purpose.

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  10. A title can be the inspiration, I think. And sometimes it tells us what we are really writing about, which we don't always know. And sometimes the piece doesn't fulfill the title, and then the title is an idea for the next piece.
    Unfortunate comment from the instructor. Forget him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yes exactly...though I know I will write these chapters as titled
      thanks Denise

      Delete
  11. I'm glad you feel like you have a purpose, a purposeful purpose! You're an inspiration and I'll be watching your progress and maybe, just maybe, I'll get off the couch : )

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  12. There are signs for all of us, all around, we just have to be ready to see them. The instructor was probably just giving the advice that worked best for him. You know what is best for you. Begin and begin again, the way that works for you. That is the hardest thing for we woman sometimes, to tune out all the well meaning and sometimes not so well meaning voices and listen to our own heart speak.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I guess technically he was right
      but he never even spoke to me about it but dismissed it
      ..my way of focusing
      he's a wonderful writer, but a lukewarm teacher of writing..a great teacher of authors
      he almost convinced me to love Gatsby
      Leonardo as Gatsby should be interesting
      want to go to the show when it comes out, Wrinks?

      Delete
  13. Screw him. I love it. We ALL wonder who we are to lead the way I think. But if everyone let that nagging doubt stop them...well...who would lead the way?

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    Replies
    1. M.Heart, you are a journey sister, a daughter
      Didn't think I could say screw him...did ya?
      I adore that you are journeying so young
      but really is the journey any shorter or longer...hmmm don't know
      Part of my story is about recovering from myself
      now in my past the middle make years.....I love to dwell in what I have learned and am learning...from the likes of you
      ...never could I have made that across country trip...but I have wanted too
      hug

      Delete

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