Finally, my health numbers are down

It didn't happen easily

I had to be deliberate

I have posted about being deliberate before...

It is a way to live

purposeful...if you will

though I have never read the book and don't know if we speak of the same thing.....but

I make choices daily, some good, some bad, some wasteful

So I deserve the life I have...choices..it is and always has been choices

even in the things that were beyond my control

like death or illness

But how do I go on...those have been my choices

So

I begin again.....over and over

reminding myself of the life I want

remind myself about the dreams...that I still dream at almost 62

I"d like to live to be 92

with long gray hair gracefully braided back

in a feminine way

I want to still garden and write into the morning and night

still enjoy my own company

still love animals...even have a few...maybe many..who knows

I feel comfortable around animals

they get me

I love it when the 3 cats surround me in the evening while

I'm reading a book, counting my carbs for the day, writing a poem while sitting on their sofa

or watching Design Stars like I did last night (my favorite lost, of course)

Animals tell the truth

Sometimes humans don't.

But if you are tuned in..you can read their words intuitively

like you read a cat's face, body, tail

Taking care of myself takes a lot of time

I must be focused....and that means in many and all categories

health,beauty,personal space,being creative....like my tag above

I love to collage tags.....thanks to my friend April

who is a master painter and collage artist

She showed me how to open up...to express

This tag was for her annual Valentine's Party where we exchange homemade

valentines......I couldn't go this year..my heart was too broken

But I made valentines as the stirrings came

and I am like a kid looking at them

The theme always LOVE

So I took a hint and went back to what I love to do

Write

I have dug out my book..though there are several actually,

but this one is about me

I think I have something to say to women my age

and maybe even to some younger ones

So out it came...

and I have begun to write

The biggest thing that stopped me was the nagging question

Who am I to lead a way?

But my husband reminded me that I am the one with the open door

always letting in the orphans of being

listening

He says I should put out a shingle

It has taken a lifetime of mistakes and a lot of listening myself

to figure things out....I am a sponge of heart things

And yesterday I found a black glass heart in the parking lot of

the drugstore......sign....Yes, I believe in signs

that's why I get along so well with my friend Elena

Last year when I went away to writing camp/workshop

I told our instructor that I was working on a memoir sort of piece

good good, he said...Did you bring it along?

I am only on chapter 3 I told him and proceeded to show him

 my chapter titles 

OH!!! That is not the way to do it he said....(.clammed right up)

Write first, then chapter titles.

...I left camp and put it away...never to look at it again

Well, after weeks of getting back on track...having more to say

and getting my little black glass heart sign

I dug it out again

......rereading a stewed piece of writing

is interesting......not bad

screw him

I finished chapter 3.......Begin Again

now on to,

Did You Love Your Life?