Tuesday, February 26, 2013

 
 
Heart warmers
My just received photos of my grandchildren
and Boo
my bottle fed kitty
An inside day today....my car is in for repair.
It is snowing outside, the kind of snow that you wish for
clinging to trees, muffling sound
Where a Cardinal sits like an ornament of Christmas on a branch
and the squirrels scurry around...noses full of snow
burying the peanuts I have tossed out the door for them...
I have finished one book...now onto the next
my foot almost back to normal.....
But I have rather enjoyed doing home things
like cleaning out a draw or two
sorting through old art projects
discovering old photos
Having a good cry...missing my grandma and grandpa
whose picture I have now put up on the fireplace


 funny....I have the feelings of a little child....I am lonely for them
all of them..that have passed on
I am remembering the ducks at the butcher shop..or were they geese?
I remember rising early to walk with my grandma
knowing I would see the ducks.....
I didn't know then, and she didn't tell me
that they weren't there for my viewing pleasure.
...oh the old ethnic neighborhoods of Chicago
all the churches...one on almost every corner....each ethnic group had their own
 prayer with their own languages....
My grandpa deserted his native language because of the war
but I remember him praying at night in German,quietly, somberly
in the back bedroom..then winding his clock that I wish I had now.
He came here at 17 and never went back home
I wish I knew why.

I wonder as I look at those beautiful children's faces on my bookcase...
what will they remember of me?

I was watching Finn the other day, stayed overnight
and when he awoke we clasped hands and walked down the stairs
and he stopped and looked up at me and said...
"Grandma, I remember when I was a baby (he's 3)
you stayed overnight...
and I loved it."
....warmed my little heart all day

Just as Boo and his antics warm this afternoon
he's found a bug on the floor and he's in heaven
.....the hunt, you know
I think I'm done hunting today...
too many memories for one snowy afternoon

 

18 comments:

  1. those memories do come rushing back in dont they...smiles...hugs...i am glad the playful boo can break you out...and hopefully give you a good smile...

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    1. oh he's a rascal..chasing a spider...

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  2. Our memories themselves are a hunt for identity. How often do our identities change as we reflect, remember, reminisce? Perhaps as often as we share our memories with those we love. Or perhaps the answer to your question was already given to you by Finn: He "...loved it." That's all anyone needs to remember!

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  3. Replies
    1. very powerful indeed
      ...how does that happen that emotion rises so quickly
      just looking at photos?
      and yes, I'll stay warm

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  4. I just read something today about memoir writing, that it takes looking back to make sense of our lives.

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    1. hug dear woman.dear friend in blogland

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  5. Such beautiful memories Suz, and as you say, we in turn become a memory,one hopefully that will bring a smile to those we love!

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  6. but how does the brain collect things to remember

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  7. I still catch the scent of my grandma when I peek in the box filled with her hankies. I used to watch Masterpiece Theatre with her on Sunday nights and I know how much she would LOVE Downton Abbey...her ghost catches me and makes me sad and so, so happy at the same time.

    We will become a comfort to those we love Suz, even when we're gone. A memory, a tradition, a photo, a scent.

    Your Boo, he is so dear.

    xo

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    1. oh you explained that so well...and I have a box of my mothers hankies...I also found them this week cleaning out a dresser drawer..
      I guess this is a universal happening to those who have loved

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  8. It's the little things we remember, they remember. Good memories, that's what I want them to have :)

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    1. yes yes, sometimes we give them what we missed too

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  9. Lovely thoughts Suz, people pass on, while their memories linger, I remember recalling some figure from my children, grand parents, some other people the impressions and memories I have of them, and the space that there absence has left, sometimes a tiny dot, sometimes a huge corner, It's a thread this cycle of memories, the thread that keeps alive those who who no longer are, the thread of immortality our memories, not the years we lived, but the things we did in the years we lived.

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  10. Love those adorable kids, Suz! How is Sarah?? Been thinking of her... Btw - my sister's name is Amy.. how crazy is that?

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    1. now..tell me you have a brother named matthew!
      hee hee...sarah is still trying..as they say
      and so is Amy....:(.....a year in May

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    2. Hehe, brother is Brian! Darn, so close ;)

      Almost a year for me too... Keeping the faith and will keep praying for them too! Keep me posted.. it is reassuring to know others are dealing with the same type of thing. Hopefully we can all have our happy endings.. err beginnings.. soon!

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