#71 magpie tale

 Thoughts of childhood float
above me like slivers of glass
glistening in light, held
by a thread

http://magpietales.blogspot.com

 I am unable to unfold
still wandering
the place of last week
I will go to the garden
sit
maybe enter a deeper place of return

magpie

 
 

 She could have been beautiful if it weren't for her madness; those striking blue eyes staring out into some place of her making. They said I looked like her once while at a family reunion, then suddenly they looked at each other and began drinking their tea,their noses buried in their cups.
My grandmother spent most of her adult life in mental wards, the only one visiting her was my grandfather. He remembered the love. He held onto the love. When he died, which was some forty years after she did, I found among his things this photo of her and ten letters written to him by her during the war.  In her letters I see behind the sparkling haunting eyes....a rush to love while there was still light.



A bit rusty....but here's my Magpie # 70
http://magpietales.blogspot.com

lost in

 I have discovered the joy of moment long ago
being still and being present
This past week we had to focus on moments
..look for them everywhere... find poems, be open to

stained glass red windows

 sunlight passing through poppies

singing bell has wrung

 No snake slithered across my path this time
no earth shattering event happened
...only a deepening conviction
that blew across me as I sat at the counsel ring
drawn to the water of the lake
...that it comes when it comes
and acceptance of that is powerful

I am certain... that I will... with every footstep I take for the rest of my life
be on a journey
I knew this, but now I know this

story on paper

where is when and who is there

how will what change why

see you next week

 Some day I may tell you
how important this going to workshop is to me
...I saw the signs
first one being the books I needed to read
all at the library's book sale
..right in front of me
really....how many Fitzgerald books do you see?
and when I waited just long enough for the workshop to be closed
I ran into my friend who dared me to put my name on the waiting list
I did
Then I ran into this same friend again....have you called? she asked
Of course..reluctantly...but I didn't tell her that
That very afternoon I got a call that someone had cancelled....sh-t
-jump-
Then the fox
a guide....one who walks in two worlds...
one who charms then pounces
almost invisible
My fox came to me at the end of his life:
be the fox
in your life
It's more than about writing
it's about rounding the circle
returning to where it began
The place in myself where I began again
I will  think of you thinking of me
I will hug a tree,
I will sit out on the rock shore facing the bay
I will dance around the counsel ring by firelight
 I will be brave in the total darkness of the night
I know why I write

Saudade

 ..a longing so indefinable

Love affairs, miseries of life,

the way things were,people already dead,

Those who left and the ocean that tossed them

on the shores of a distant land

All things born of the soul,that can only be felt

...Anthony De Sa, from Barnacle Love

 It getting down to the wire
Sunday we leave!
Today I am a crazy woman...getting the house and pantry
ready for my absence
and I have one last book to read...yikes
The important thing I did yesterday
...Chose my clothing,shoes &jewelry
I am who I am..it's taken me over 50 years
to be me
..and no writing workshop is going to dampen my style
Now if I can only be sure he will feed the cats
and water the flowers and fill the feeders
Now..I ask..is that too much to ask?
(daughter and mom are my backup)

kid summer

 My little grandchildren are coming for a visit the end of June
 My heart spread wings upon hearing this...
Little Miss will love my new birdbath
she is into bright colors and butterflies
and she asked me if I still had the slip and slide
Grandpa doesn't know it.....but I do
Oh the thoughts of being a kid again in summer
when a little plastic pool brought such joy
and a picnic on the grass with watermelon
and popsicles
 was all you wanted
and Grandma's fingers scratching your back
before bed

 Oh this is how I feel this morning
like a worn stone circle
decorative in its day
now something with a  patina
a wabi sabi woman
returning
to what I'm not certain
but somewhere rising upward
like the little sprout
within the aging wheel of stone
light shining down on me
..all over me
...Does that make any sense?

 Sorry I have been away...knee deep in reading the above
for a writer's workshop that I will be attending for a whole week
..a whole week of immersion in writing
My eyeballs are about to fall out, but I must finish them all
Interesting writer...not sure he would make it now
not sure he would be read at all if it weren't for required reading
but I have to say I am finding the structure of his novels
very fascinating.....
and I haven't cheated by watching the movies
a movie could never capture the writing
I am slowly becoming interested in this man
Need to read The Infidels after this workshop
I have also been on a low carb eating plan this past week
don't even look at me crossways in the morning
but I need to button those capris
Do I have my priorities right
or what?
I finished my short story that tiptoed into a darkness
and submitted it for critique
...I wish I could write like Flannery O'Connor
then there'd be no problem
Oh well...back to reading "Crack Up"