Heart warmers
My just received photos of my grandchildren
and Boo
my bottle fed kitty
An inside day today....my car is in for repair.
It is snowing outside, the kind of snow that you wish for
clinging to trees, muffling sound
Where a Cardinal sits like an ornament of Christmas on a branch
and the squirrels scurry around...noses full of snow
burying the peanuts I have tossed out the door for them...
I have finished one book...now onto the next
my foot almost back to normal.....
But I have rather enjoyed doing home things
like cleaning out a draw or two
sorting through old art projects
discovering old photos
Having a good cry...missing my grandma and grandpa
whose picture I have now put up on the fireplace

 funny....I have the feelings of a little child....I am lonely for them
all of them..that have passed on
I am remembering the ducks at the butcher shop..or were they geese?
I remember rising early to walk with my grandma
knowing I would see the ducks.....
I didn't know then, and she didn't tell me
that they weren't there for my viewing pleasure.
...oh the old ethnic neighborhoods of Chicago
all the churches...one on almost every corner....each ethnic group had their own
 prayer with their own languages....
My grandpa deserted his native language because of the war
but I remember him praying at night in German,quietly, somberly
in the back bedroom..then winding his clock that I wish I had now.
He came here at 17 and never went back home
I wish I knew why.

I wonder as I look at those beautiful children's faces on my bookcase...
what will they remember of me?

I was watching Finn the other day, stayed overnight
and when he awoke we clasped hands and walked down the stairs
and he stopped and looked up at me and said...
"Grandma, I remember when I was a baby (he's 3)
you stayed overnight...
and I loved it."
....warmed my little heart all day

Just as Boo and his antics warm this afternoon
he's found a bug on the floor and he's in heaven
.....the hunt, you know
I think I'm done hunting today...
too many memories for one snowy afternoon

 

time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In Spring, hundreds of flowers;
in autumn, the harvest moon;
in summer, a refreshing breeze;
in winter, snow will be there with you.
If useless thoughts do not lurk in your mind
any season is a good season for you.
-Chinese koan


Today it's off to daughter's house
..but first a massage
and  house caring to leave it nice for husband while I'm gone
No useless thoughts today
only good season
A cold, sunny winter day

joy

 

 

Oh, to have a shower like this one.

Why does warm water all over our bodies feel so good

so comforting?

My workouts have hit a few snags latey

and I am not happy about it.

First of all I had some bad Chinese, and then I slipped on a stair

and twisted my instep...of all places

I missed one workout with Jose....the Chinese food

But I showed up with my gimpy foot..stair mishap

and did my workout yesterday....

 

today.....oh my...my foot is killing me

Sucks being older :)

But I am not a quitter...

 

Today I am doing some marathon reading

The People of the Book

Has anyone read it?

So far..not bad

I really feel more like reading a beach read

but since I need to rest my foot

I guess I better take advantage of the time on the couch

and finish my book club book.

 

I feel like blabbing today, so my post is going to be like an annoying

person sitting next to you on the train who won't shut up..

The California ones were supposed to come today, but they're sick

and won't be coming....blue me...I miss them so much

 

And yesterday my Clearing catalogue arrived

I immediately contacted my writing buddies

Want to go? To a writing workshop?

heck yes...

So in May we will be heading back to Door County

hip hip hooray

I love that place

But I confess....I have given up writing

dry as a bone and discouraged

It takes so much focus to write

and I have focused on other things

and I can't seen to do both.....

and rejection is a bitch that bites the ego

and my time has been taken up with others

...this is not a complaint....I am needed

but rather an acknowledgment

of what is

 

The other things that have taken up my time

are remodeling a bath at our new house in Galena

....and redoing a few things around here

So busy...I have not taken time to be

that time that suspends everything

and heals the aching body and soul

and heart

by emptying

My creative being is weighed down

and I can't seem to stir her

she is in exile...bitch

She is pity potting

licking her wounds

I have let her have her space, hoping she will get it out and wallow a bit

then..show up....nope, hasn't happened

Instead she has reached me and drawn me closer to her

and I find myself withdrawing even more from the creative spirit

except for making 33 valentines for April's party

 

 

 

 

 

 

But the bad news was, I missed the party because I had to meet with the contractor

in Galena....oh, that group is such a collective of creative spirits

Maybe getting ready to go to Door County

having to polish a few stories to submit for comment

may get my juices flowing again

..but then I ask myself..flowing toward what..

the ocean of every other disheartened writer

...ooo

time to slay a dragon

I think

 

....just listening to myself moan

is an eyeopener

yes,

a few dragons...

 

Okay, I understand if you have gotten up

and found a new seat on the train

.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TRX

"Honestly, you've got to be kidding"
I said to Jose today
when he showed me our next step together
TRX
"Oh,no....I can't do that"....I said
as he fitted the loops around my shoes
and told me to lift my hips off of the mat

 

"I'm old!  This will kill me"
I pleaded...
"Up with those hips and now bring your knee to your chest"
.....and it didn't stop there
I had to do push up and squats and flys
with those wicked straps around my hands...
....but you know what
I had almost perfect form....and I did what he asked
and I was sweating and my heart was pumping away
...I loved every minute of it
After the torture was over
my mom ( who does the treadmill while I train )
well, we went out for a bowl of good chicken soup
comfort soup
Oh, am I going to feel it in the morning...
and that is a good thing

..

Work out

Lately I have been feeling like
Practical Magic meets Enchanted April

 I wish I were Stockard Channing at times
kick ass, bad mouthed, brass balled

 

but alas
I'm not...
very often
But I am happy to report that there is a new man
in my life
Jose..
....now don't get all freaked out
He's my new personal trainer
and he is kick ass....
my ass
But in a good way.....
I keep telling him to go easy on me
...I'm old
He rejects that
and raises the weight

Good golly
It feels so good to be back with a trainer
to be back at the gym
...ah such perfume to my nasal passages
and when I leave....I'm high on worked muscles
....such a high
to feel in touch with your body
in touch with muscles that I forgot I had
...oh those little muscles that you find
....Working on my own was not enough
I needed to feel the way I used to feel after a good workout

I tried locating my old crazy trainer
but so awful......I discovered that he died
in a car accident .....

So when I am struggling on my third rep
I think of him.....remembering him
always saying...when I moaned....that
This is no tea party!
The man was brutal
and I loved every minute of it.... him helping me discover my strength
and courage
to hang in there
Now that was and is Practical Magic

 

 

 

These photos are from Spay Illinois
They gave me a good laugh...
....hope they brighten your day too