Friday, May 14, 2010

I let the grief in....and found life



Our dear friend ,Susan ,has been gone a week now, and it is sinking in. We could not go to Shiva the day of her funeral because my husband thought his sister near death. So we came home and all week we have been concerned about his family and Susan was gone from my mind. But no she wasn't.
At the funeral I found out that she was many years older than I thought. She would have hated us knowing that. I wondered who made the decision to snitch.
She was raised Catholic but married a man of Jewish faith and her daughters were raised in the Jewish tradition. I know her Catholic girlfriends from high school saw her through her ordeal.
At her funeral both traditions honored her. The Cantor's singing of the Psalms made me cry. A Jewish prayer or blessing was sung at the end of the service...it was very touching. But we could not go to the Shiva house. The above picture is the only picture I have of her. She is the long haired blonde on the left. That is me and hubby dancing in the middle. We had the best time that night.
.She had the most wonderful dry wit...I will miss that...I will miss how she joked about her husband... rolling her eyes....I will miss her
Shiva..meaning seven. Seven days a person sits mourning in their home that they shared with the deceased. Where their soul loved. You come to their home and sit with them...words not necessary....they are not your hosts..you come for them. The food I believe is circular.....eggs beans....so much meaning in circles.
The funeral honors the deceased, Shiva comforts the loved ones in their raw mourning.
 But why Susan...why not me?
The hairs on my head are counted and the day of life's end is written in the book of life...
the book of Life
Praise be the Lord
the book of Life
and I am comforted.
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17 comments:

  1. Interesting traditions of the Jewish funeral and honoring her where she lived. I like it.
    Why not You?, you ask...
    It is not your time.
    Only God knows when we are chosen.
    BlessYourHeartSuz

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  2. suz, what a touching tribute to your wonderful friend, susan. there are obviously going to be days when the blues get a hold of you but i sense a concession, in your words...trusting the One who gives life, and says when it's finished as well! there is such a peace as you talk today...

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  3. it seems like you all having so much fun,
    that's the wise option,
    your title says it all!

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  4. I love this - the Book of Life. Thanks for sharing your grief process with us...

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  5. Oh Suz, I am so sorry for your loss of such a good friend.
    I am sure that she knew you were there with her in thought and spirit.
    Take time to grieve this loss, it certainly brings our own into clearer view.

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  6. I enjoyed reading this post. You are a lovely lady with a wonderful heart and philosopy of life.

    Stacy and I are going to a Craft Fair on Sunday. I leave Tucson tomorrow. I look forward to being with her. I sure wish you could join us but you will be with us in our thoughts!

    Hugs, Cory Dogwood

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  7. You are a fine tribute to your dear friend...

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  8. it's nice to remember dancing.
    blessings to you and her family.

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  9. What a lovely post I really feel for you as a very dear friend of mine died 26th Feb this year, The emptiness without her is still in my life. Its so hard to think that she has gone for ever, I never before thought of death as being so irrevocable, so gone, so absolute. Its a lovely idea to have your seven days.
    Christine

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  10. Oh Christin..that is just the hurtung work..irrevocable..I onced used that in a poem about death.and grief...
    but for me as a Christian it is about life too...and that brings me comfort..and reminds me.. life think life.. she lives Thank you for your kind words always

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  11. i'm sorry for the death of your dear friend.

    hugs.

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  12. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Suz. My thoughts are with you.

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  13. your words honor in her life and yet she lives on in you, your heart. Peace and comfort to you.

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  14. So hard to lose a dear friend - so wonderful that Life comforts you!

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  15. thinking of you...
    i hope you are comforted by warm, cozy memories of your time with your buddy.

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  16. http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/05/jingles-may-follower-award-week-3.html

    awards 4 u,
    Happy Monday!

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  17. It's so hard to lose the people we love the most, you're in my thoughts.

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