Monday, May 10, 2010

Magpie tales # 13

Willow at hosts a weekly writing prompt

Using the below photo, write a vignette or poem:

Here's my take.
I can only say maybe it's because it's the 13th Magpie!

 The glass eye hidden in the collage intrigued her. One could almost miss it, but she hadn't. In fact, she had felt it from the moment she walked into the gallery... a strange tide like pull... to the large frame ocean themed work of art.
Since her breakup with her boyfriend she had discovered so many new things, like art. She had been lucky to get away from him; men with a temper like his were sometimes hard to get rid of.
Tonight she was meeting her new boyfriend at the art gallery. Arriving before him she decided to walk over to the large collage and further study it, curious about the eye hidden in among the coral, shells, and sea horses all laid out, layer upon layer. There in the midst was the turquoise blue iris eye staring out and into her. At first she tried to ignore this mysterious pull, walking past it with barely a look. But as she passed by she felt the eye watching her...following her. She turned back quickly to look at it and it seemed to blink. Her knees began to shake and her breathing hastened. Surely, she thought,she was imagining this. So she walked up closer to the collage and searched for the title or artist's name.
Very clever she thought as she saw the title, I SEA.  Then she noticed a drop of water on the wall below the frame and looked up to the collage. Tears were dripping from the glass eye. She spun around ready to call out to someone,anyone, to tell them what she was witnessing...but she felt the eye's intense stare on her back and  turned around this time putting her face as close to the eye as she could without touching it.
"What is it you see?" she spoke to eye.
Suddenly she heard loud screaming and turned around to see her old boyfriend rushing through the gallery toward her  brandishing a gun. He said not a word, but she saw hatred and jealously in his eyes as the gun went off hitting her in the chest. Like a slow motion movie clip the world around her began to spiral and her body hit the canvas then slumped just below the now blood splattered work of art, the glass eye breaking loose and shattering on the floor, to see no more.



  1. wow, suz...this was really good, no worries about #13 taking away any of your glory! this was put together so well, and i loved the ending! sad, but in a sense she had been forewarned...what an awesome magpie tale!

  2. I do believe this is your best one yet! Perhaps you should consider changing professions:)
    Me, I just a creepy eyeball.

  3. That was really good!! You should try to get some of your writings published!

  4. Suz

    At first I thought -- oh nice she got away from her abuser, free at last, living the dream --
    then the eye -- looking at her with one eye -- tears-- I thought she had some sort of art 'Epihiany' -- and then. . . .
    You ripped my heart out and it fell shattered to the ground with by the way that darn glass eye--when he came in and shot her.
    You are getting better and better at this short story writing, way to go Suz


  5. Loved this one Suz - great writing! I really like all the things you weave in to your stories - "I Sea" - brilliant. :-)

  6. Love this! I think the eye needs to travel from art form to art form to warn people of impending doom...

  7. Oh!! I didn't see that ending coming but that made it even better. I really enjoyed reading, thanks!

  8. Wow intense, never saw that ending coming. Got my heart racing. Very scary this early in the morning :)

  9. I love "I Sea"! So witty. Terrifying ending, too....shivers!!

  10. wow,
    what a smartly written magpie!


    awards to choose,
    Happy Tuesday!
    I appreciate your friendship!

  12. Whew, what a twist. Not at all what I was expecting!

  13. I really enjoyed this, and I also didn't see the end coming.

    Loved it, I really enjoy your blog.

  14. Suz, I just love your storytelling even with the sad ending. You have lived many lives and your wisdom shows. Thanks for sharing and the encouragement, you so often share with your readers.

  15. Ooooooo ... very nicely done. Even the violent end.

  16. You see my dear, YOU are the writer. Thanks for the comment to my blog post. HOpe you've been well!

  17. How sad...domestic violence is so horiffic. Your piece was both current and sheds light on an imporant issue but within in a very well written story. Good job and thanks for the visit to Jaded Heart! :)

  18. A lot of atmosphere and a shock ending.

  19. what a twist at the end-- did not see it coming-- you are a gifted writer

  20. Donna, somehow I know you wouldn't say it if you didn't mean it and for that I say thank you and am touched.


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