My babysitting duties are over,my friend is at peace,my husband's sister has made a miraculous turn around,the sisters-in-law have gone home to Arizona.
My mother's dear companion is slipping away day by day and this is quite a heartbreak for all of us. He is a delightful fella who has been a good friend and companion for my mom for 10 years. But the book of life .....soon he will be called home to be with his Lord. It is a hard thing seeing your mother suffer. I want to protect her and I can't. I am taking her to a charity dinner on saturday with my girlfriend and I hope to take her mind off of waiting. My girlfriend loves my mom and she will make sure that she is laughing and sipping red wine.
But I have to confess that I am wiped out. Don't really know why I feel so drained...physically. The soulbell is going off and I must heed it. Take care of your inner self! Sometimes I feel like I'm swirling in unfocusedness..is that a word?
The bookmark valentine I made says it all.....I need an inner peace love affair.
begin again,Susan
Good to hear that you're taking some time to take care of self after taking so much care of others.
ReplyDeleteI love you collage for inner peace!
You definitely need time away from your current reality. Maybe you and your husband can find time to take off for a few days? Sometimes a couple hours at a day spa can help or a day alone in house...no calls...just you and whatever you need to do to feel reconnected. It's awful to feel unfocused...I wish you steps to find peace.
ReplyDeleteThere really are no adequate words any of us can offer since we're not in your shoes. But no doubt you can refresh, and renew with some quietness and fewer people around. Seek solace in your closest and just try to do NOTHING for a few days, Suz.
ReplyDeleteI always find that time alone is a help. Prayers for you and your family, and for a period of rest for you!
Rick
Time to reconnect with yourself. And in response to your comment on my blog. I never get pissed at you. But I do wish you wouldn't be so quiet and hold back as much as you do. I value ALL opinions. They're like finding treasures on my journey. So speak up woman! Love and sending soothing thoughts to mom.
ReplyDeleteEmotional trauma can be physically exhausting. It sounds as you are in need of both physical and emotional peace. I can only echo the other comments - look after yourself Susan.
ReplyDeleteget some rest, eat good food, have a few good cries, and laugh with friends till you pee. sit in a green filled spot and breathe until your shoulders relax.
ReplyDeleteyou have been present for so many. and you wouldn't have it any other way, right? so refresh your well of compassion, suz, and be present to yourself for a bit.
namaste
I can so relate...
ReplyDeleteHope you find some time to reconnect.
I'm finding a day is not enough. It seems that life is growing ever larger than my aging brain can keep up. For me anyway...a day would not be enough.
Hope you find some time to get plugged into some new energy for yourself soon.
Hugs xox
Ok...my dear sweet lady. It is time for you to take care of you. Rest and do some special things for yourself.
ReplyDeleteHugs....Cory
I'm thinking of you and yours, Suz...
ReplyDeleteAnd...I don't know if you like wine, but for me, there's nothing that a long, hot bath and a glass of malbec can't cure :-)
yeah, it's the physical fatigue I feel that worries me....So today I'm doing nothing but being in the yard and weeding...that could take a month..what with all the neglect!
ReplyDeletethanks Cory..I will
Oh Maggie's garden...I think it does come with age...did you hear me groan...? Rebounding doesn't come as easily...does it?
Oh Karen..have you got my number..the body is slowing me down..pay attention...it says or else!..don't want that
Oh ALan I wouldn't call it trauma..but I think I've run dry of the ability to take on any more sadness...thanks..I will take care to recharge
Hi Elena..what can I say..I've hit a wall
Rick thank you..yes I will lock the door and turn off the phone
and sit and meditate...
Mary ANn It is terrible to feel scatterd...we are going to take a drive in the country this Sunday...and just roam
Susan I am happy you liked the collage...I made it for someone who practices and is terminal...she loved it too..brought her joy :)
Heed the call my friend, heed the call:)
ReplyDeleteRed..been there?
ReplyDeleteSoulbell....is that what that is? I'm learning to listen. Take care!
ReplyDeleteoh my friend, I have been here too...
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you...take it slowly...one day at a time..it's all you can do...and sip some wine....
sending love and peace to you,
Kary
I am holding you in healing light and sending you love. . .
ReplyDeleteStop everything and be with Nature - let it do its work. . . let it make you green again and when your energy has been replenished by that special energy, watch as the new buds begin to form. . .
x
Susannah..it is a beautiful day..truly beautiful..sunny warm..breezy....I was outside all morning...it is a bit muddy from all the rain..but I got muddy!
ReplyDeleteI feel my battery recharging
I'm glad the other things have settled down for you. You know you don't realize how tired you are sometimes, until everything has quieted down and then it sets in that you are exhausted and afraid of being sick. Just be. Enjoy your garden. Take your sketchbook out there with you. Draw some little buds and bugs. Love your bookmark! Collage your feelings.
ReplyDelete