Wednesday, May 5, 2010
If it wasn't for the whimsy I keep in my life I wouldn't be able to bare the hard days of life. Which usually includes death.
The last time I saw Susan we were at Gibsons stuffing our faces on prime rib and tira misu. Today is her funeral. A brain tumor took her away from all that loved her. So much of her daughter's lives she will miss and this makes me so sad. Your mom should always be at your wedding and the birth of your first child. But God had different plans and the day that was written in the book of life for her has come.
My mother's dear companion of 10 years is nearing the end and this is weighing on me for her.
They were so good with each other. I see her more and more as a woman and not as my mother....and I grieve with her and know her heart is breaking again. But she will do fine....she is a strong woman.
My husband's sisters are coming in from Arizona today...his sister here is dying. These girls and my husband shared a very sad and lonely childhood. It is him today I worry the most about. All that crap being drudged up again.
Whimsy....all around me...now I have shared my secret with you how I get through it all. I see the world throught the eyes of little joys that comfort me. And God is my constant companion who always has his ear bent to listen to all my groanings.
So..get through it all today...and tomorrow and who knows how long....All will be well.
And Sara.....I have you in my thoughts too.