This is the last time I saw him.
Just before Christmas Eve.
All I could do was watch out my window as he perched on a branch ,
I'm sure, freezing to death.

DEAR SANTA

FOR TWO MONTHS  I'VE FED A CANARY
AN ESCAPEE RESIDING IN YARD
WHO'S HOOKED UP WITH PURPLE FINCHES
LEARNED THE WAYS AROUND A FEEDER

BUT THEY COULD NOT TEACH HIM ABOUT WINTER

A BRUTAL WINTER STORM HAS BLOWN IN
FREEZING RAIN,ICE COVERED BRANCHES FOR DAYS
TONIGHT 8 INCHES OF SNOW
TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS EVE
AND ALL I WANT IS TO SEE THE BRIGHT LITTLE LEMON
IN MY PINE TREE AGAIN

My little canary happily fed around my feeders well into December.
Until that is a brutal cold front arrived.
Against all odds he had survived thus far.
Last Christmas it was horrible. He stayed in my yard just outside my kitchen window all day Christmas Eve....clinging to ice covered branches.
I prayed for a miracle....

Last summer this little yellow bird showed up at my feeder. No one believed me that it was a canary,until I got a picture of him. My friend lost her bird one summer when the door was left open and out he flew. Though I hadn't seen her in 20 years, I felt her pain now. Her beloved Peety..gone.
So I called PAWS to see if anyone had reported their canary missing. Need I tell you I got a snicker on the other side of the phone. "No,no one" she managed to say before saying goodbye.
But I knew he did belong to someone. All I could do was make sure there was always seed in the feeders. His buddies,the cardinals and finches showed him the rest. He stayed all summer...a happy yellow spot in my trees. then Fall came and he stayed and then winter....He was brave....and my heart broke with every drop in temperature.

 

Leaving my garage the other day to have breakfast with my friend,Mary, I paused on this bucket I had dragged in from the yard. It was a bucket of rocks I had either in pots of flowers,in a fountain or just in the garden. I gathered them, then left the bucket on the deck under a bird feeder. Last week I brought the bucket in and put it in the garage with the other items from summer. Would you believe these sunflower seeds sprouted in my garage....dark garage?
The life force....so powerful. Sprouting with no light,no soil,only rocks. Of course they will soon die...the seedlings are already turning light green and getting lanky from seeking the light...which there isn't any in my garage..unless I leave the door open. And today it is 25 degrees out. So they will wither and die. Sad. Even if I plucked them out and planted them in soil...they would be weak seedlings...and never bloom. Let go. But it is a joy now to see their intent..to sprout and grow.
And isn't it striking to see the "love" rock in the pail? What a picture.
Grow where you're planted. And just as in life..some "seeds" sprout only to be deprived of the perfect growing medium. But most humans grow inspite of their "soil"...and some become beautiful, strong, adults,loving and caring and smart.
Oh the garden, it provides so many lessons.
So...grow,grow,grow...it is your destiny

 

 

 

Finn Arthur O'Connor

Well,he's here...all 5lbs.7oz of him. Mom and dad couldn't be happier with their little bundle. Grandpa and Grandma glowing over the little Irishman.
Thank you all my sisters,April,Elena,Bev,Uta,Sara,Cory,Goldenbird,Robin,Relyn,Buffy,Mr.McGregor's Daughter for your prayers and good thoughts and vibes...you held me up

I'm home now waiting. She went in at 8:30. They said it would be started tonight , but the baby probably wouldn't be born until tomorrow. She and her husband,Jerry, are doing fine. They wanted me to go home and they would call us. I repect that. I won't get any sleep tonight tossing and turning, but one thing I always do for my children is to respect their wishes. This is their time.
Thank you for wishing them well and for your good thoughts and prayers..I feel them.
When I was 8 months pregnant with Amelia, my beloved brother died suddenly. It was hard getting through my last month. But I did and I had the most wonderful daughter,who now will be a most wonderful mother herself.
It's not being a grandma that is so emotional for me now, it is my bond with Amelia and that time of my life. This was an inward journey I didn't know would happen. But it is always about journey..whether we see it or not
Thanks for listening

He stopped by to wish me well

 

I saved him from the hawk a few times, so I think he knew I needed some encouragement today. Good little Kid.
I am off to the City to be with my daughter,Amelia, who is going in to have her baby tonight. She is felling better,unlike yesterday where she was running a temp and having gastro issues. But her husband called and said "She wants her mamma." Praise be.
I remember when I had her, my first born. It wasn't a good time for me. I was in the throws of deep, deep, sorrow and grief. Looking back, I don't know how I got through it, other than, I didn't have a choice..grief or no grief, I was going to have a baby. So this has been a time of deep reflection for me. How resilient the body and spirit are..how when we have faith, we can climb that mountain.
So today, I will be with my daughter and with the 23 year old who didn't think she could ever get through her grief and be a mom at the same time. But I did. And she,Amelia, was the reason. Now I can be there for her.
Think of us today and tomorrow as she enters this space, that for her is the unknown. Pray that all goes well for her and the little baby boy inside her.
It is a fragile time and I know this, and part of me is scared,so please pray for us, that all goes well, and tomorrow I can tell you his name.
And Kid squirrel, isn't he cute? But boy, there is no end to his appetite for sunflower seeds.
But he is my beauty and joy this morning. And for this I give thanks.

Oh dear, I am so weary. I just wrote the nicest post about the picture of my geraniums still blooming. And son of a gun...it disappeared when I went to post it. It was about three paragraphs long. My brain is fried, and I just can't go back and rewrite it.
The gist of it was I spared the geraniums another day...because I saw Christmas in their faces. You would have liked it....too bad...wasn't meant to be.
boo hoo
Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes
...........I hope.

Still blooming and it's almost December

 

I've missed being here. Once in a while I took a few quick peeks at what you were all doing. Sounds like everyone has had a pretty good feast day of thanks. Mine ended up being pretty nice,changing locations a few times...it finally settled down at my 'soon-to-be-a-mother'daughter's house. If all goes as planned the little guy should be born (induced) on Dec. 2. I believe that is the full moon. Ah..I will have to look into that.
Today I spent the day hauling out the Christmas decorations and putting up the tree. A bitter sweet endeavor. I can see my life in those decorations.
Maybe now, that this is finished, I can get back to thinking again...until Dec 2...then who knows what or where I'll be.
My camera thinks I have abandoned it. I was able to take this one photo of an interesting old victorian near my daughter's home. The area she lives in was once quite beautiful with grand old homes. Now, the big lots all have been subdivided long ago and homes have been stuck between most of them. But if you take a long hard look you can still see what once was, in a few of them.
Doesn't matter really, even if the homes remained intact, those lifestyles are gone. Grand is gone..rehab in.
Right about now,I'm ready for some rehab myself.
Since lists seem to be the thing, going around on blogs, here's mine...
This week I:
will put on makeup
wear real shoes
not wear an apron
refuse anything that sounds like turkey
not eat another sweet thing
take an hour walk at least once
take my camera on an outing
let my brain free
spend some time in stillness
drop off a bag or two to AMVETS
maybe read something besides Fitness and Yoga
paint
write a poem
watch The Banger Sisters
be of self for a whole day
and stay in pray that all goes well for my daughter

Old city house

 

No pictures, just words

Oh give thanks unto the Lord
for He is good
and His mercy endures forever

Remember this prayer? Simple but lovely

May your day be simple....,filled with the aromas of good food from your traditions,may you be surrounded by those you love, and may you keep in your heart, the love of those no longer here...for they are still with you..
May you see today as a time to stop and be still and to look around and see all that you have ...and give thanks to God
And add a special prayer for our country and our servicemen...and women
may God guide us

I give thanks for much and may I mention here I especially give thanks for you all (hey,I'm southern!) ..my blogger friends
Your words reach me
there is a connection with so many of you
you are now in my circle of love
and I give thanks for this simple, yet important
addition to my life journey
Blessed Thanksgiving!

November is Slipping Away

 

Leaves drop and swirl around me.
Squirrels,too busy to say hello,
scurry as days get shorter.

The garden is a memory,
as are the long days of summer
and lemonade.

Robins have long slipped away
with no good-byes,
while the last formation of geese
flew over a week ago.

What will I do without them:
starry asters,
fresh picked flowers, apples,
and oh,
the pumpkins in the fields?

Autumn's swan song is in the air
and all I can do is listen...
bow to the new arrival,
Give thanks.

 

Pretty bleak today, too. But I did manage to find a bit of simple beauty in the back of my yard. I love old wood and rusty things in the garden. My DH thinks I'm daffy to buy something that's old looking and rusty. "You paid good money for that?" I ignore him. That's my secret to our successful 39 year marriage.
But this piece of wood is not store bought, but rather a discarded piece used to keep my neighbor's little dog on his side of the fence. It didn't work. He learned to keep shoving it until it gave just enough for him to crawl under and romp like a goof through my trilliums and Bloodroot and jack-in-the-pulpits! Oh well. I have a mind to leave the garden alone most of the time,no matter what. It is a habitat and habitats need to push and shove and survive. Most garden clubs wouldn't want me as a member,but I don't care, I have a sanctuary and they have plants.
It took me a long time to not be embarrassed by my jungle. I remember the summer it happened. A dear friend,Patty,asked if she could bring her garden club to see my yard. I think my head fell off when she asked me. "My garden,Patty?" I asked her, "It's not a proper a garden."
"Yeah,I know," she said in her wonderful way,"that's what I want them to see." Well, they came by the car load and ooo'd and ahh'd and asked me all sorts of questions. Me...
I dug up volunteers for them and many went home with invasive chocolate mint...and were happy to! Patty called the next day to thank me, for teaching them not to be such snobs about gardening... "they loved, loved, your yard,she said,even the odd stuff you have tucked away in every nook and cranny".
She was referring to old enamel pots and baskets and old tools and iron metal sculptures. She said the girls loved that "my trees loved to wear jewelry". That's what I said about all the dangly things hanging from so many branches.
All this thinking has made me long for my garden. But I must be still now, rest,like the garden,store up my energy for the new season promised.

I long to hear my friend Patty's laugh, thinking about her now. She is gone. Like the lovely red leaf fallen on the old wood,she was a thing of beauty all by herself, and I know she is in the garden promised her.

And I hear it raining now.

Soup day

Kokopelli

 

I actually had a day to do as I wish.
Nails. That's what I did. Shallow I know, but a girl has to take care of herself. Then I went shopping for the last of the list for Thanksgiving. As I passed the meat counter, I saw the nicest packages of oxtails that I have seen in LONG time. That's it. Soup day.
So, what does Kokopelli have to do with this,you ask?
It is a gloomy,dull,gray-cloud day. Not too cold, but a bit damp...the worst feeling..on olding bones...I refuse to say old...so it's olding.
I went into the garden on my morning walk looking for beauty and there wasn't much. A few roses are still struggling to hold onto their unopened buds and the grass is still a nice color of green, but nothing hit me in my stillness. That is until I looked up and saw Kokopelli playing his flute against the barren trees against the bleak sky. This made me laugh. Kokopelli is the flute playing casanova of the Southwest. He is supposed to usher us from winter into spring..carrying seeds and song. He is a music maker,a dancer ..and always spreading joy...knowing the harvest will come. I bought this windchime at TJMAXX..yeah, that's right. It has the most beautiful sound. Delicate and enchanting. Seeing him dance above the trees made me happy and it hit my stillness.
This put me in a good mood for grocery shopping.
Then the universe gave the oxtails (lots of little ones) and I came home and made a big pot of oxtail vegetable soup. I had to tell my kids it was beef vegtable soup for the longest time. They never would have eaten "oxtails". Now they do.
Yes, seeing beauty in Kokopelli against the bleak sky was meant to be, and now I have a happy DH. Soup tonight!

Oxtail Soup....mmmm