Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Wednesday"s One Shot Poem

It's Wednesday
another opportunity to post a poem
hosted by One shot Wednesday

Heartache Blue

There are days
I look to the sky
to find you
and all I see are clouds
masquerading as

Where do you go
when there's war?
Do you hide your face
behind a volcano?
Do you hear our pleas
in molten lava?

Where do you go
to be alone?
Do you sit in the future
walk in the past?

Where do you go
to behold?
Do you visit dreams
carve your name in the earth?

Where do you go
to be happy?
Do you linger in the laughter
of children?
Do you warm an act of kindness?

Where do you go
to cry?
Do you lie across a dying child
cup your ear to our sorrow?

There are days
I look to
 find you

What does the sky hold?
The thoughts of God
the clouds,are they his breath?

What does the ocean hold?
the movement of God
the sun,is it His shadow?

Where are we in all of this?
The loneliness of God?
Our presence, is it His desire?

There are days
I look to the sky
to find you
and all I see are clouds
masquerading as

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  1. Suz Suz Suz. This is just a masterpiece in my opinion. This one goes to the top of my Suz Favorite list.



  2. One of my all time favorites of yours.. saving this actually!

  3. I love your consistent focus on refining your talent, polishing your words, increasing your skill. You are an inspiration.

  4. wonderful write the repitition of the question and in so many ways we try to quantify God to wrap our hands around something that is impossible...if he in the laughter, yes i think as much as the tears...and even in the war...

  5. I love how it ended where it started - no clearcut answers, but still seeking the answers to those questions we all ponder.

  6. Timeless beauty in these words whispered from soulful inspiration!

  7. I have this same conversation with God all the time. Thanks for putting into such excellent words.

  8. This one is perfectly wonderful, Suz! I think Mankind is meant to question.

  9. favorite line: "do you linger in the laughter of children?" that's surely would be a great place to linger. This was great!

  10. I never thought of God as being lonely, but you know what they say: "It's lonely at the top"

    (And I don't suppose you can get any more 'top' than being God, eh?)

    Nice piece, Suz!

  11. This is GOOD!!
    I often look up at the sky and see God and my day is better. :-)

  12. this was such a well written searching piece...loved what eric said too..great share..cheers pete

  13. Very beautiful ...the seeking and pondering on the unknown in beauty and the sad.

  14. very nice - yes we have those days, He is there in the silence of our own thoughts and breath....blessings..bkm

  15. it is a search isn't it? Just grasping a piece is worth it.
    Wonderful reflective poem

    thanks for sharing with One Shot my friend

    moon smiles

  16. Just beautiful, from the title and first verse to the last.

  17. Dear Suz,
    You asked about pantun in my comment box. So I thought I'd post my reply here...

    Dear all,
    Thank you for your lovely comments. For the benefit of Suz and anyone else who would like to know more about the Malay pantun, I hereby attach a short explanation.

    The Malay pantun originated in the 16th century if not earlier. It is not in keeping with Malay culture to claim authorship so we do not know who the authors are. Generally literature was written under the royal palace patronship.

    What I have penned in Malay (2nd poem) is called Pantun Berkait or more well known in the Western world as pantoum in essence.

    Sometime in the 1800s, Victor Hugo and other poets came in contact with Malay royalty and were introduced to pantun. I suspect Sultan Abdullah who was exiled to Seychelles in 1874 from Malaya also had something to do with popularising the pantun.

    Anyway, in the beginning the poets translated classic malay pantun then went on to create their own.

    The major difference between pantun and pantoum - in the Malay form, the first two lines 'the dream' gives a metaphor or indication what happens in the next two lines in the same stanza ie 'the reality'. This is crucial to the elegance of the pantun. The closer in sound and metaphor of the 'dream' - the more elegant the pantun.

    I hope I do not sound patronising or lecturing - actually I have just taken up pantun writing in the last two years. Poems however, have been with me forever.

    In fact in Malaysia, pantun is really something almost anyone can do if they put their mind to it as we grew up with pantun as well as nursery rhymes.

  18. Suz,
    Thank you for asking. By the way, I really really loved Heartache Blue. Your recent posts - the unwanted fetus, the 8th grader, the panicky homemaker - and HB just resonates with the soul.

  19. Ninotaziz, thank you SO much for the interesting
    And for sure I will go back and look at your poem with an informed eye. Next week I hope to write a villanelle
    I like the idea of the dream and reality together in the first stanza
    Sometimes,including my own writing for memes.. the writing and poems are less then craftworthy,however beautiful and wonderful to read..

    So I give thanks for anyone who who seeks to craft a well written you did

  20. Suz Such a song of lament, and the lovely flatness of the pic!


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