My sister in law passed away last Monday and was buried this Monday. Once again the sisters in law from Arizona came in. But this time they stayed at the other sister in law....did I tell you my husband came from a family of 10? Ten little kids that were poorly cared for....and most of them have lives that reveal this awful hole in them that cannot seem to be filled. Buckets with holes...no matter how much goes in .... My husband had his way with dealing with his terrible childhood. He stayed away from it all as soon as he was old enough. He built a life of his own with me....a nice Lutheran girl who didn't know her way around the block and whose mom and dad were always there as I grew up....to care for me ...feed me, clothe me, love me....things that he didn't have...things he deserved to have.
He became a very successful businessman...wanting for nothing.....raising 3 wonderful children that make us proud. He was the parent he always wanted. So this past month with his family brought together again because of this illness and now death I am reminded of that bucket with a hole.
Somewhere along the way he was open to love...to be loved...a hard thing for a child not loved. But there were people who came into his life that touched his life just at the right time..made a difference to him .... showed him how to be a decent person...and somewhere inside of him was a survivor.....this I think was a gift from God. He tells our kids that Ward Cleaver was his dad...and John Wayne...you get the picture.
The funeral was memorable and painful,stirring everyone up to the old wounds and hurts. But it is over and all have gone back to their lives of their choosing.
My husband and I back to our lives lived joyfully and with love.
All we could do was hold up a lantern