Monday, December 13, 2010

Have I been Scrooged?

One more note on my birthday......My husband said he never thought he'd be living with a 60 year old!
I didn't say a word....he's looking back to see 60...ha ha

Driving to my daughter's house for dinner on Saturday, my dear one put on the Christmas music station.
It was so cold and rainy and icy that evening. Since the accident in October I have a certain trepidation about wet roads.
I started to tell him about the visits from my grandpa and such....which he is not a believer in....and Joy to the World came on the radio and I just stopped talking and began crying. Crying big tears from hearing the Christmas music. It was a full body thing.
Have you ever longed for God's presence? I was at that moment wanting the Lord of my childhood Christmas
to be near me.....in the way He was at Christmas time growing up. I began to realize how much I have chosen to give up.
Relyn is right....put up the tree! Play the music of my choosing.
All that I desire in my life...first I must uncover it..then I must bring it into my life....and I can, I will, I must

The family as it grows begins to separate and the holidays reshape themselves as they should. But I have made the mistake in thinking that I don't need to do the same old things because they won't be here......most are gone....the others scattered in different states....I won't be doing the cooking and entertaining....but along the way I have lost, misplaced, the religious aspect in all of this ...ritual.
How did this happen to me....Little Miss Lutheran? ...where music is such an important part of it all?
First a visit from the Black Hatted angel
then from my grandparents
then the religious Christmas music on the radio
and this morning...a dear friend sent me the mall food court video of the Hallelujah Chorus
If you haven't seen it..you must...http://www.youtube.com/user/alphabetPhotography
In a crowed food court members of an opera company stand up one by one and start to sing the Chorus....people in the court don't know what's happening....but some do and stand up and begin singing along..until it climaxes in the final hallelujah.....
..this morning the "proverbial house" just dropped on me.....
Merry Christmas has begun for me.........Though it has just about been erased in public
it will burn brighter in me
for He heard my cry and came
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19 comments:

  1. I love that video! I feel like I might just swell up inside from the joy of it...

    I think that Dr. M decided to take back Christmas this year - he put up our tree - just MADE room for it. And he bought wrapping paper & bags. He's decided to not let depression steal the season from him.

    So good for you for doing the same! And I specially love your closing thought - he heard your cry and came. Hallelujah!

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  2. Oh Bug..now I'm bawling again
    and I love it! It is hard to decide to share religious thoughts on a blog....but I thought it fit in with my BeginAgain stated purpose....thank you for commenting and let the music play!

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  3. So get my choked up in the morning, will ya! That video was amazing.

    My company happens to be one of our few in a mall. To see something like that would be so uplifting. I had tears watching, and I imagined all those people continuing their song, walking out together into the streets, to the neighborhoods, into their homes, and gathered 'round their hearths, singing to love, kindness, and celebrating the true spirit and meaning of Christmas.

    That's what I rail against every year from Thanksgiving to Christmas. It's what my seemingly "bitter" posts of late are trying to say: Take back the holiday...NO take back the spirit and meaning of the holiday, and manifest it with love of self, friends, and family. Drop the shopping bags and join hands in what my minister has, for decades, said "in the spirit of kindness, and with an attitude of love."

    Suz, you get it. You know what the meaning is, and you illustrated it that day riding in the car.

    God's presence, Suz, is in your grandpa's visits, a song on the radio, memories of Christmases past, and even in the reshaping of the holidays as you say.

    If only everyone this time of year had your perspective, and resolve to move forward.

    I appreciate your thoughts, words, and your life view. I sincerely wish for you and your family, no matter where they are, a Christmas filled with true meaning and peaceful souls...

    Rick

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  4. Thank you for this. I know I don't always visit but something brought me here today and glad it did. I haven't decorated except for a skinny bare tree in the corner to try and placate my son. I just don't feel 'christmasey' but realize now I don't feel the holiday like the media is telling me to. I forgot the true meaning. And I saw the video. And cried. Not for the pretty music but the look on the faces of the little boys and on the man's face who looked as if he'd just received the best gift of all. It was in his eyes. And I realized I had almost let my retaliation against 'whomever' snuff out the glimmer in my eye. Thanks for this. Now I have to go find the decorations.

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  5. Thank you Rick...you are right..I think I have been visited by the angels Dickens wrote of...and of course they weren't sent by Dickens .When I watched the video this morning,sent by my friend, I sat there and was overwhelmed with joy pure joy ...and tears flowed as you said....Get the tree and creche up man..Let's celebrate!
    Oh Elena...Merry God filled Christmas...let us all seek the joy of the good news....Celebrate!

    I will tell my friend she started a revolution of sorts...a call to arms around us all

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  6. What a beautiful Christmas piece. I think you express the feelings of so many. It is different, or maybe the same. It's really up to you. The most important thing I do during the Christmas holidays, is to go to the Taos Pueblo. They have a very different way of celebrating, and it has nothing to do with the materialism we experience. Something ancient, old, and new again. It's a soul celebration.

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  7. Annell...that sounds meaningful and wonderfilled...thank you for sharing that with me I will hold you near in my thoughts on Christmas

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  8. In answer to your question. Oh yes, and He never lets me down! :-)

    I love that video and have watched it many times!!

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  9. Thanks John
    Happyone....yes, me too

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  10. Suz, I listen to that same Christmas station every time I'm in the car, and I've had similar moments to the one you've had. I also long for the joy and love I felt at Christmas time as a kid...oh, how you remind me of me :-)

    What a lovely post...

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  11. I guess if we still have longing.. it is still in us and for that we should consider ourselves the lucky ones Christina...yeah, I noticed the similarities...

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  12. And now you have Christmas in your heart where it will be with you always . . . good for you, Suz!

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  13. Change is so hard especially when it has to do with traditions we have built over the years with our dear family and sweet friends.

    I get the "blues" a little at Christmas but try hard to remember what it is really all about.

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  14. I am also at that point where the holidays are changing....what to do?
    Follow your heart, do what feels right to now.
    And a very happy belated birthday, sorry I missed you blowing out the candles:)

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  15. Red..the fire department was notified for the candle blowing out
    thanks

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  16. YAY!! Oh, that doesn't say near enough, so I am trusting you to hear my heart. It rejoices with you. Cries with you to. YAY!!

    Merry, MERRY Christmas, my dear friend. Sending you MUCH love.

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  17. awwwwwwwww.....hal-lelujah!!!!!

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