Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Magpie tale #10

Willow, at http://magpietales.blogspot.com/ hosts a weekly writing prompt


using the below photo. Write a poem or vignettte



I got his pocket watch... still in the original velvet box with the satin lining. 
Never used, saved for a special occassion, and I guess in all his 60 years on this earth there never was one   because, I never saw him with it. But then again, I never saw much of him.. He traveled around the world making deals...making money...he said, for me...so I wouldn't have to work as hard as he. I would have rather had a father. But I got the watch...still in the pristine packaging.

Before they closed the casket I bowed my head in respect and dropped the ornately engraved,Roman numeraled, silver, pocket watch into his coffin.
All I wanted was you ,dad, I whispered over him.
 I turned and walked back to the pew somber that I had given him back the watch for this special occassion.
 It was the least I could do for him.

18 comments:

  1. how sad --perhaps working so hard was his way of showing his love? Doesn't replace the loss felt though. Well done. Great Magpie!

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  2. I echo...Well done...well thought out. Aimed for the heart and got there in few words.

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  3. This one certainly struck home with me. Touching piece, Suz.

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  4. So sad yet it reminded me of what a wonderful dad I had. He ALWAYS had time for me. :-)

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  5. Oooh I want that watch. Great story.

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  6. Excellent story, lesson and all.

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  7. Oh, tears are running down my cheeks. Beautiful.

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  8. What powerful words Suz,
    a reminder for us all to what is truly in important in life.

    Joanny

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  9. Oh, that brought tears to my eyes. Beautiful, Suz.

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  10. Wow, Suz.... This one was kind of a "stunner". Several ways it could be read, and all are jolting! Great write! And the thought of time in "pristine packaging".... Really good, Suz!

    Rick

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  11. Wow. This is a great magpie! I especially like the part where your protagonist narrates, "I turned and walked back to the pew somber that I had given him back the watch for this special occassion." I loved that line.

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  12. This was so sad and really brings home what it really important in life.
    Christine

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  13. oh heck...great tension in this one...i dont ever want to be like that again...

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  14. You say a lot in two paragraphs -- well done!

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  15. Many people can identify with your story. So sad isn't it?

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  16. A good, concise story - and a potent rumination on "time."

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