Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My lamp needs lighting,please

I am but a shadow of myself
lost on main street
an unlit lamp
useless in the dark

I have writing group tonight and I have nothing to bring
and worse yet, I don't care
I am empty
and that's the good part
I am adrift with thoughts
of what I want to be when I grow up
knowing it has already come and I missed most of it
This happens to writers I think
despair over writing and its worth
Most times I am happy to make someone
or laugh
or think
or feel something
But today everything I look at
that I've written doesn't even do it to me
sad state of affairs
I'll go tonight, do some prompt writing
listen to some wonderful writing of my friends
have a pity party with myself when I get home
and tomorrow
I'll begin again..
yes begin again
My writing is stuck
stuck because I'm stuck
revealing yourself is frightening
but writers must write to the edge
I believe that
so think of me tonight suffering
with nothing to share and feeling shame about it
Truth.....I have something
but I don't want to share it
not yet
not 'till it's finished
Maybe when I grow up..maybe
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  1. When I was young & foolish I wrote a poem about writer's block. I said "I am not depressed enough to write a poem." Guess I didn't know what real depression is. Of course, back then all my poetry was of the teen angst variety.

    You know that, since you ARE a writer, something will spark & off you'll go. It's ok that it didn't happen this week.

  2. Thanks Bug...oh I get sparks..not the's the writing that's crap....dull,lifeless...boring
    I think I need to read some trash
    or...have a glass of wine before I go..take my lumps like a woman

  3. I have never found your writing dull or boring - it fills me with wonder.

  4. Oh Marilyn....I'm going to print this out and put it on my desk..
    ...I dug up an old Magpie tale to bring tonight becaude my girlfriend said I better bring something...I'm bringing the one about the blue Willow plate...seasonal at least

  5. Hi Suz

    I´ve only been following your "writings" for a little while and it seems to me that if what you have just written is about how you are having difficulty finding the writer´s "spark", there is no spark, you have a fire just let it burn!

  6. Growing up is completly over-rated.
    Let's be kids again:)

  7. It's late where you are so your meeting might well be over...glad you made it through...showing up is sometimes all one can do...we are your silent witnesses to this pain and will be part of your joy again!

  8. Nothing to share? Nothing, you say?

    Nonsense, Suz. You just did share. As always. Nothing wrong with a pity party on occasion, but don't think that you have nothing to offer your readers. A little "off" time is good sometimes I think. Lately I've been kinda "numb" or dull in the writing department. Then I was on vacation. But tell you the truth, it has been kinda refreshing.

    I love the prompts, and reading the ones that I don't participate in. But I think that we all should be careful to not get into a funk if we just don't get "inspired on schedule", so to speak.

    Relax!! You're a wonderful writer, and I, like many others have been, and will continue to be inspired by your work. If you don't feel creative, no one's gonna some in and say "You're Fired!!!" :)

    One last thing in this screed: DON'T grow up! I've decided NOT to!


  9. begin again, and again and again.

    That's how it is Suz, life is full of have it, just relax take a deep breath and let it go.
    The words will flow.

  10. Oh Suz, how I identify with this, especially the part about 'when I grow up'.

    You are a wonderful writer, your heart and soul shine from your words and people respond to the essence of you, and people love you and recognise that beauty and warmth within you.

    Sometimes we just need time to recharge, we can't just keep giving without allowing ourself time to replenish.


  11. Oh it's not replenish exactly Susannah (love your name)
    it's focused energy know..the hard work kind
    luv ya

  12. I'm reading backwards. I love this honesty. I know this feeling. I love the way you went anyway and things swirled around differently than you thought, and how now the group is opening up for just the kind of writing you want to work on. Wonderful. Like you.
    I am the same same, about what I want to be/do when I grow up.
    It's okay.
    We are doing it.


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