Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sacred circle of path

My journey started here at Kangaroo Lake's labyrinth in Bailey's Harbor, Wisconsin.
It was here in the early morning hours in the center of this sacred circle of path that I wanted to change
and I went home and did
But changing requires tremendous focused energy...I discovered that one must JUMP to change
I am writing a book about this journey.
But it has slowed down because change doesn't happen and you arrive somewhere magical
it is like the beloved labyrinth....many bends and changes of direction and forced pauses ....and you're drawn to enter again and again
What I am having trouble with lately is focus and energy
I know that to complete my newest journey I must concentrate my energy or I will fail
baby steps don't hack it
But the desire is burning inside of me fiercely
and I must face that I feel as though I am serving too many masters
Same journey revisited....but different I suspect...more to learn...maybe learn the deeper message
within my heart...yes, for sure
But this means I will have to cut things off in my life
put things aside
risk hurting those who don't understand my necessary deliberate focus
Risk....tough thing
but without risk...same life within
I haven't been able to write anymore with my book because I feel I have failed with my own message and story
but then I realized... journey is not over..may become even more powerful than I ever envisioned
I thank all my dear blogger friends,Bug,Marilyn,John,Red,Blue,Rick and Nana
your words encouraged me
Last night a few things happened...synchronicity...a wonderful thing
I was never called on to read
We listened to the most wonderful short story called THE ADDRESS
that was exquisite in its telling...so much packed into a little piece
every word loaded....it was about a young woman who returns to her home in Holland
after her liberation from a camp...to go and find her mother's things that she remembers a neighbor having taken from her mother for "safe keeping" ..The woman denies knowing her or her mother
But she sees the woman is wearing her mother's green hand knit sweater with the worn wooden buttons
and she knows she is at the right address........
We discussed this story and its many layers for over an hour and I tasted and remembered what good writing can do
But the thing that sent a shock wave of the universe speaking to me was our leader's announcement
that we will be focusing on memoir and memoir as ficiton in our next session
HELLO......do I need a house to fall on me.....
They ..no one actually ..except for you now, knows that I have been working on this project
It is so personal..but I think I have something to share
I have been avoiding....pushing down...putting down..my efforts
and now I have been outed by the universe
I need to walk the labyrinth again
I need to acknowledge
to let go
to lift up my arms
let Spirit enter me and guide me
I need to make no more regrets

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13 comments:

  1. I got goose bumps when I read this - really! Spooky! I guess it's the time of year for spooky...

    I was afraid you were circling around to saying you would have to stop blogging & that (selfishly) would have made me VERY sad.

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  2. Oh!? Spooky...oh no...not spooky
    just honest

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  3. I pray for you to find the focus and the energy and everything else that you need to do what you must do. I can't wait to read the book!

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  4. thank you Robin...it really is..what you must do

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  5. sometimes we get caught up in the circles of life just like being caught in the eddy of the fast moving river. risk~that can be so scary but so so so freeing.

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  6. Oh this is wonderful ...in that synchronicity is wonderful. I think that synchronicity is a word for thousands of unseen helping hands leading us to a certain point. Just as you thought that you couldn't do it help came to you. I like your acceptance of this with your words:
    "to let go
    to lift up my arms
    let Spirit enter me and guide me
    I need to make no more regrets"

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  7. make no more regrets is powerful healing medicine
    hug ;)

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  8. Wonderfully touching Suz. Sometimes the harder we try the further away we push things.. I believe in reading your many stories, poems "life" posts that you are already that person you seek to be but by trying you are locking her in. Be the free spirit you are, seek within with love not doubt and remember you are human.

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  9. I find that all paths are spiral and bring us back to the same point but one step up, so we have a higher more evolved viewpoint of the same scene.

    Trust yourself and do what you 'know' to be the right thing for you. x

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  10. Oh, John, it's not doubt..it's energy.....focused energy
    But you are right...when I went on my journey it was love...focused and deliberate love for the journey
    ...thanks for the empathy...but fear not..I know how to drive this vehicle

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  11. this really spoke to me.
    wow.

    you helped me jump.
    you can do it.
    you are right on.
    you get it.
    i am thinking of you.

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  12. Since I just found this blog. I hope you will forgive me for not reading this amazing revelation sooner. I have had a long life and I did a Story of my life blog.I started by recalling my earliest memories and came up to my teen and marriage years. I had quite a following because what I wrote was honest true life. Readers dropped off when I got in my teens and I finally just closed it. You speak so beautifully. Mine was plain unadulterated memories in a 79 year head. Then one person wrote in her comment that I was writing to much sad stuff. Guess what? That was about all I had was sadness for a while but it was still real life. Sorry for the long post.

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