Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The Writing Closet

No I don't write in the closest.
I have to clean the closet. The one in my writing room.
I must.
Not because it is stuffed to the ceiling with notebooks and class handouts or books..oh, so many books.
No, I have to clean it out because I am not that person anymore.
It is the closet that holds the stages.
It is painful to look at what crap I wrote.
It is embarrasing now to read the poem that rhymed.
Oh Lordie, this is way past due.
But if I do not is there... stagnant remnant of what I was or tried to be.
the confessional poetry
the awful sonnets
the novel with 5 chapters that still won't be long....OUT!
And the handouts....I never read half of them when they were handed out!
I counted 50 notebooks.....10 word collecting book
one book for collecting found language and overheard conversation
Do you believe that?
I can't leave this for my children to go through....or my husband...he's featured in a few pieces
Not that I plan on going anywhere soon...but you NEVER know...
So let me be the decider of what they will ponder over
The notebooks...saved in the imaginary writer's would take an archeological dig to find the why of the original thoughts..the experiences..
bits and scraps of feelings
of pain
of desire
of sorrow
of grief
of heartache

I dropped my bucket down that well
because that is where the real stuff is
and I found I had it all.
...and writing..especially with a #2 pencil...
filled that bucket that I hauled up
and tried to fashion writing out of it.

Oh don't get me wrong
there's good stuff
I'll keep that
the good poems that still stir me when I read them like they were written by someone else
the funny short stories...especially Large Marge..I'll keep all her stories
Where did she come from?  A gay, motorcycling, tall, redhead that bowls...
But really
it's time


  1. I found myself cleaning part of my studio closet the other day. However, I wasn't as good as you, I didn't get rid of anything, just moved it from one closet to another. Hmmm..

    Cleaning closets I was once told is the signal of transition...the letting go of the old and making room for the new. It's good to hear you're keeping those pieces you really like, recognizing your growth and making room for more.

    Good for you!

  2. Oh, keep it all. Please!!?? I really think you should.

    I have old poetry - from highschool that is ridiculous, and still, I keep it. Of course, my husband has instructions to burn them unread if something ever happens to me.

  3. My girlfriend instructed her husband to burn her journals and not read them...he honored her wishes...nice.
    I go through and toss every's just my habit.

  4. Susan, thank you for sitting around my circle...Yes I think it is transition..I am feeling it
    in that deep part..
    Relyn..realy it is difficult to read..I can't believe I thought any of it was good writing..but most of all it isn't me any longer...let go
    Blue,burn baby burn . I know my daughters wouldn't be able not to read...

  5. cleaning a regular closet is exhausting enough, but one that holds "written treasures"....could take months or years! lol!

    (hugs to you girly)

  6. Wow, purging...big time! It is good to do periodically. Sounds like you are ready to move on into a different phase of you writing so need the room for new creative stuff.

    Keep creating!

  7. I can so relate, Suz. My closet used to be absoultely stuffed with spiral journals, half-finished novels, class hand-outs, poetry, ideas for magazine articles and essays, etc. I've been slowly tossing it over the years because I feel like I need to let it go to make room for new ideas and inspiration. But I still have a huge Rubbermaid tub full of journals that I haven't quite been able to release yet. Some day. Good for you for cleaning out that closet.

  8. why Goldenbird a writer? how wonderful
    Even though I haven't gone to that stuff in a long while...I could feel its eyeballs on my neck....Most of it will go....already I have a stay pile

  9. Hmpf! Sounds like a wonderful closet to me.


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