Monday, March 1, 2010

Magpie Tales #3



Magpie tales host a photo prompt at http://magpietales.blogspot.com/, where every week you are given a photo prompt to write a poem or vignette.
This is the photo for this week
Here's my take:



She saw me hesitating a bit and reached into the display case and pulled out the measure.
"Everything in this section is 20% off today,nifty little item isn't it? Heavier than it looks."
I think of holding it in my hand but recoil in thought. A sudden dreadful wind blows in my mind and I am no longer in the antique shop,but walking the past decade of my life.
She weighed 2.2lbs at birth,just like this shaped hunk of ore that was once used for trade,honest trade. 
They said I was too young to care for a sick baby. I gave her up, traded my baby for freedom.
"No, thank you," I say backing away from the case.
"You'll never find another one like it," she says rolling it around in her fingers.
"No, I never will," I say, my heart heavy as lead. 

34 comments:

  1. I would be truly honored if you gave your poetic advice on my blogs of poetry and follow them.

    http://thehumanicana.blogspot.com/


    http://humanicanagold.blogspot.com/

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  2. Oh my! Me? Well,I certainly will give it a try...but I warn you...I tell the truth....but I'm also kind
    Thank you...I shall Average Terran

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  3. Even without that experience I felt a sudden weight in my stomach, as if my heart was falling through the floor. Such an emotional piece; sad, but beautiful nonetheless.

    Rick

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  4. Great! You need to share more writing. :)

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  5. I felt that dreadful wind! Well done, Suz.

    (I often feel certain things from holding vintage items in my hands)

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  6. Amazing piece of writing I could feel the emotion of that lost child.
    Christine

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  7. Bravo! Great job on this one and the Microfiction Monday was too funny! Guard your time...this is good work.

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  8. How moving, and so true how the strangest of things spark memory.
    thanks for sharing
    martine

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  9. Wow, that little piece had a big emotional impact. Well done.

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  10. Another wonderful piece of writing suz...I really am a fan of these short pieces.

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  11. I just returned from watching Finn and was hoping maybe one person would like what I wrote. It is shocking sometimes what a prompt can shake out of you..add a time limit and you never know what inner closet squeaks open. So thank you all for your comments..this gal is smiling
    -RICK,Thank you so very much..I haven't either,but I know the emotional landscape of things past
    ELENA...thanks I'm having fun
    WILLOW, Thank you..yes, I am a believer in energy..and all things have it..good/bad...and some of us are lucky enough to know this
    CCHRISTINE, I felt it too as I was wriitng it!
    BLUE SKY DREAMING, truly, I appreciate your comments-for we have become friends
    MARITIME FRAMPTON,Thanks, and oh it is so true how one ordinary thing can become a master of recall

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  12. Hi Cory,Susannah..thanks! I like short too

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  13. sniff, tears welling up, sniff, such emotion, great work Suz

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  14. Suz,
    Magnificent!!!
    Well done.
    rel

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  15. REL...FROM A MAN WITH A PIPE...WOW
    THANKS!

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  16. wow. heavy tale...pulls at my heart...nice magpie.

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  17. Good job girl. I love this new project. I can't stop writing. Maybe mine is too long.
    QMM

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  18. your piece is filled with imagery.
    so much so that all the senses are engaged.
    the work is indeed an honorable tribute to all those who have lost.

    http://adivashammer.com/archives/26

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  19. you gave life and explained the loss of life with a touch so real and tender--beautiful post!

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  20. The knowledge of spring wakes one's soul....beautiful Suz.

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  21. Wonderful, with the perfect ending!

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  22. Oh this was a tremendous take on the weight! Your condensed verse is very moving., I loved this...

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  23. Pat you must be a poet...that's exactly how it started..as a poem
    this pleases me...that it kept somewhat of a poetic tone Thanks!

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  24. I love the roundness of this story, how the weight triggers the leaden heart. Wonderful!

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  25. Awwww, my heart is broken for her. You sucked me into feeling the pain and weight of her decision. Great storytelling.

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  26. steviewren and spacedlaw
    thanks

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  27. That was one kick in the stomach! Short, sharp and a blow to the solar plexus.

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  28. thank you peter..I hope I didn't hurt you too badly :)

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  29. Wow Suz, this was perfect.
    Wrenching and right on.
    How you got that from the photo is amazing. Wow.

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  30. bethany...thank you
    i know weight

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