Do you see what I saw?
Oh .... I pulled my car over and sat and watched
the dragon fly by
then I remembered that I had a pocket camera
and shot this remnant of him
Who says you can't be a kid again
I am
all the time

So much swirling around me lately
so many things to do, to prepare for,to let go of
Letting go...the hard one
I have embarked on spring cleaning early
well, if Mother Nature can arrive early..I can clean out early
but what do I keep, what do I throw or give away?
...Always the delay
Just as in the garden, what stays, what is to be moved or shared
dilemma
I have, in the past had to make choices about people too
Who stays as a friend, who is too much of a spirit sapper ...and goes
always choices to be made
So far, I have navigated well through these waters
But I am getting older and my energy levels..well, sometimes
I'd rather sit and read a good book
or just write one...finally
choices...we live by them and sometimes suffer and die because of them
So you see, this spring cleaning thing is important
what if I throw something out that later I regret..or worse...my daughters ask me for
If I ask them...they say...oh, don't get rid of that.....but I am the one they expect to store it all
choices....they are mine...not theirs....
one warning this time..and it goes
Ah... liberation

It's my mother's 82nd birthday
I have been blessed with her for a mother
smart,active,friendly,talented
thrifty,God loving,helpful
generous,gentle,loving
forgiving,respectful
a good cook
and my best friend
She was into herbs, natural things
and yoga before anyone else
she quilts,does puzzles
and can stretch a dollar further than anyone
She has lost a son, a husband,a brother, two sisters
and a late in life companion
and still she looks for life's next adventure
Sure she can't walk as fast, eat as much
see as well,
but she still has a glass of beer
before bed
Happy birthday mom

photo from google 

I stuck my head out of the window this morning

and

Spring kissed me

bang in the face.

-Langston Hughes



 

I love this daughter
and hold her in prayer everyday
for the journey she is on
not by choice
well, maybe by choice
she chose life
Tomorrow she moves to a new home
of tall oaks, cobblestone streets
and wrought iron
grandpa and I will have our grandson all day
Precious little guy
he thinks all that is going on is moving to a new house
and that his room has many windows
and places for his trains
Just about every friend I have
is going through trials or tribulations
This is life
ah..life...it is a gift truly
The older I get the clearer it is to me
that our footsteps touch many kinds of stones on the path
it is how we walk them that counts
Here's to a new life, dear daughter

magpietale # 108 ...Gone

old vision sees her

I know her scent in the air

but can't catch a dream

http://magpietales.blogspot.com

#108

Oh bother....I was getting into my car to go to writing group, when I heard the sound of a robin.
I turned around and in the tree alongside of my driveway...was a tree full of them....
I didn't have my camera......so use your mind
JOY

 Oh bother.

So many things to do today.

I am rewriting a short story today for my writing group tonight,

expanding it in parts.....such tough critics they are ..

But I will do as they suggest. They have been right before, I hate to admit...I love them

Before I begin the process..which takes me away so quickly to another place

I need to go outside and clip a few more branches and dried stems...clean up the garden

get ready for that day when nature says,  ready, set, go!

I hunger for the days when I can go outside and sit

sit and lose myself

empty and fill

unaware of this earthly place

unaware of my heart wrapped in lead

Yesterday, while in the garden I felt a presence near me

It was quite a spooky day in the garden...First I saw that witch toy in the bed of cone-flowers

after writing about needing to find the space of home within me

Then as I clipped away, a crow caw-cawed around me.....we haven't had crows here for years

so I stopped my clipping and listened... and then I felt this presence

as I sat on the moist ground,in the warm sun..wind blowing furiously around me

I expected to turn around and find a cat next to me.....I felt a cat's presence

but there was none...

but I sat there in the soil of the earth

and was comforted.....

I have a great sorrow inside of me

it affects my everything of everything

I  carry on...but it waits for me..for my family

it smothers our joy.....it troubles our dreams

it enters my stories.....seasons my soups

pollutes my breath..tightens my muscles

I wear sadness everyday

even in my moments of joy....sadness is a refrain

This I am not afraid of.....this is my path
Oh, to live in the Hundred Acre Woods.
Thanks for listening dear friends who hung in there 
to the end of this......now to do a little yoga 
to start this day

...and her little Boo too!
oh my goodness
look what I spotted in the garden this afternoon
It's a sign....don't you think?

I thought about the Tin Man yesterday
who said,
I know I have a heart, because it's breaking

Oh, if only there was a Wizard I could go to..
I'd kill a witch, fight flying monkeys
walk a yellow brick road
to Oz
dodge apples thrown at me...
take up with new friends...
pull my own tail
.
Today, is a day for the garden
cleaning up, cutting back
ah
yes
I hope I stumble on a moment...
warm sunshine on my face...
That lets me in
and out
to place of home

a sketch for the day
who is that on paper
unfinished,like me



I promised my friend April
that I would try to do a sketch a day
for the month of March
I am not an artist, but have a few wayward
artisty genes leftover from my father
so
this is my March 1st attempt
Not sure I'll post anymore
it is something that is very difficult and I constantly erase
and start over....big inner critic
and well deserved criticism I might add
AND I just couldn't help but attempt to make a haiku
out of it...hee hee
I love visual prompts......I use them for writing all the time
I cut pictures out of magazines or save ones from the internet that match
something I am writing about....or I use it to jump start a story
such as these pictures, that went on to become stories

I won't be doing much writing today, I have a mess of housework to do
How do two people create all this mess?
I attended 2 wakes this weekend and babysat for Finn
but the hardest thing I did was keep my heart together
So off I go to find the vacuum
and defrost some pork chops
-joy-

Magpie tale # 107 The Painting

http://magpietales.blogspot.com

Once a week

 he went to the Art Institute

 to stare at her.

 The brushstrokes captured

 the eyes of his Isabella,

the woman of long ago

that he lost to Fernando.

He knew she would be 70 now,

not the raven haired beauty

captured before him

in the sensual values of light and dark.

A painting as large as his desire

that still burned him every calendar day.

Did she have a good life?

Did she have regret?

Did she ever think of him

in the dark silence of night

as he had of her?

He unfolded a handkerchief

on his lap,in front of the painting,

 lifted out a ring

and began to cry, as he had every week

since the painting appeared 

on the walls of this public place,

for all to see.

Once he painted it just for his eyes,

now everyone could see what he loved

and lost.

silent winter dawn
I heard a tufted titmouse
March chorus tune-up

Paint What You Love..Magpie tale # 106

Magpie Tale # 106



In the middle of the night genius struck. But he was out of supplies and needed to make a run to the store. He had the essentials: paper towels, a six-pack of Coke,and the ever important,cheap bottle of champagne.
He never intended to buy soup, oh no, he was a man of discipline...and soup wasn't on the list. But a sudden ache in his belly reminded him that he hadn't eaten all day. And the neat little rows of soup cans looked oh so much like obedient soldiers, their packaging like little uniforms, professing their allegiance to the ordinary, of his life, everyday.
He quietly tumbled 20 cans of soup into his cart. 

http://magpietales.blogspot.com

I must begin again
push
myself away from this sword that hangs above me
soon enough it will let loose and find me
but for now why live in its shadow
take hold of what is this moment
garb myself with coat and mittens and boots
step outside and feel the day
get lost in snow and cold
hear the birds
watch the squirrels
be aware of breath
hear it speak
going down deep inside
to nourish every cell of my being
Then suddenly I am there
that I am so much more than this moment
brimming delicious
huckleberries
hello sunshine hippie chick
she is always and never the same
one hot mama of autumn awakenings
hello sunshine, beautiful dreamer
Live life with flair
let your inner artist emerge
...the bar has been raised
love the in betweens
celebrate love
live free
fire in her soul
you're unforgettable
embellished,
  I secretly wish I
file under M
..more moments
like these.

I never aspired to much
except to being a good human being of faith,
a good mother, wife
neighbor,friend,citizen
I took life as it came
and sometimes it was hard
but I kept aspiring
Love, my constant fuel
to get through some dark times

Later in life I discovered
I had a creative side...more than just
making the home a comforting, welcoming place to come place to
I called it sanctuary
and more than just providing nourishing meals for my brood
more than any of that
I rolled in creativity like a dog in muddy grass
a cat in catnip
rolled and rolled and rolled
but
I never aspired to anything else here either
just added a few more things to do to be happy

But low and behold
One day I became a grandmother
and everything changed
THIS
is what I aspire to excell in
grandmother hood....
I have found the land where I belong
and sadly, this land has its sorrow too
But I take life as it comes...
with an attitude of grace and love
and trust that God leads me
and does not fail me

Feeling low and sad lately
in my land where I belong
I got Skyped by a little smiling face last night
"Grandma! we're coming!...for 3 weeks!
and we're bringing Dutchie!
Dutch is the bulldog above...hee hee
What and when will I tell the kitties?

I needed this sunshine
and He was faithful to provide
now....to get ready
they are coming March 31!

 so much held inside
a life and death miracle
the days tick on so

Every child is a miracle

that knitting together of DNA

that sometimes

goes all wrong

and yet you love

and you suffer...,

for this miracle that is

yours

Magpie Tale # 105

MAGPIE TALE #105

He knew it was odd,

that it didn't belong there

on the side of the road

out in the middle of nowhere,

that they don't exist anymore,

and they were never lit with neon light.

But he wanted to believe

and he yielded to the temptation

to check it out and rode his bike along side of it

and stood there not knowing what to do.

And that's when he saw the prophet's image

in the glass just as the phone rang.

He leaned in and grabbed the black receiver

without thinking of the consequences.

"Hello," he said.

And as he did, the neon light began to pulsate,

and the booth shook and a howling sound sucked him inside.

He screamed, but no one heard him but

...the voice on the other end...

"Number please,"

He screamed and screamed and screamed as he felt his ear sucked into the receiver,

then his head, shoulders, hips and legs.

One last scream as the rest of him followed,

until he was no more.

The booth stopped shaking

 and the neons stilled themselves

...lighting up on the dirt road like a beacon in the night

 for the next believer.

http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

Now that I have my body moving again
stretching
breathing
now that I am in tune with it
a sensual feeling
I need to get the outside corrected
red polish on toes
gold hoops in ears
Euphoria wafting around me
I need to get some more blonde in hair
I went darker...low lights...for the winter
ick
I'm a blonde
and today I head downtown to see Tom
he'll fix me right up
and then I will return home
casting spells

joy

soup and short story

Some days you wake up

and know that it is going to be a good one

It is something inside of you, or least me

I know my troubles are not gone, but today, I will put them in a quiet place

and make soup.

Up at 6 AM this morning to see my husband off to work

to share a few precious moments of being

I started my day with a hot cup of coffee

and a book of poems.....

I fed the cats, the birds,the squirrels, and took a walk outside

in the garden to feel the day

on my skin, breath in its energy

The morning sun shone through raindrops that hung

on bare branches and dried flowers

oh such beauty in a drop

Then it was back inside

to make soup.

I chose this one because that is what I need to use up

...carrots and celery

and besides, it is one of my husband's favorites

When I am finished with this quick delish soup

I will hit the computer to finish writing a short story I have been working on

about a little girl that disappeared

...seems I can't get away from writing about little girls lately

oh well...that must be where the energy is....

ah energy.....I knew it this morning the moment I awoke

joy

oh...and the yoga is helping tremendously

I'm feeling younger....;)



a day of love

I spent Valentine's day at a funeral
an elder of my extended family
My sister-in-law took care of her mother faithfully
for 4 1/2 years.. when she had been stricken down by a stroke
Love.
The service was held in a Lutheran church
all the trimmings, as they say
Comfort.
The trip to the cemetery was short
and the walk to the grave site short also
so many elderly who braved the snow and cold to say goodbye
Humbling.
The meal afterwards, the usual: beef, chicken,mostacolli,mashed potatoes/gravy
hot rolls,warm beef vegetable soup and salad
Filling
Watching my brothers, one who just had open heart surgery...
tired and weak, but there. The other, legally blind,sick with a very bad cold, but radiating
goodness.
Watching my mother, worrying about them
Familial
Sitting next to my husband, squeezing my hand under the table
knowing my very thoughts of fragility of life
each of us suffering our own heartache to come
Love

Our first breath we take in from God
our last breath we return to God

 These moments
 birth and death
They are written in the book

blogger connections

many of them become friends

caring keyboard kin

To all of you who have reached

beyond the posts

I luv you

Be My Valentines



Magpie tale # 104

She dreamt that all the lives that she had led

lay under her like a heap of genocide

Naked on her bed, her hair spread out

like Medusa tendrils,

 a dismembered part of her

reached up and pulled her under

darkness swallowing her heart of stone

http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

 forgottern sadness
beholding joy with feathers
in an instant,gone

may my roots hold me

My gentle slide back into practise

 has had rather quick results

as far as my muscles are concerned

The pigeon pose/kapotasana, that I added last night

hit that piriformis just right

and I got some relief from my aching leg and hip

So feeling a bit cocky this morning

I added the tree pose/vrikshaasana

As expected I found that my right side is much stronger than my left

(as it is in my brain)
struggle

I think this is enough adding of poses

now to continue to show up

do

breathe

find balance

for my aching heart

oh, my aching hip flexors

 

Why is it so hard to practise

that which is good for us?

We never think about the harmful things

we do

like overeating

sendentary living

We never question those choices

we just do it

But the body is calling out for

practise

So this morning I took a step to recovery

I began with tadasana/mountain pose

omg....boy, I am beginning this not a minute too soon

30-60 hold...in proper form...ooo

next, onto

padangusthasana/forward bend/ finger to toe

big omg!

but the stretch feels so good

maybe the pain in my leg will lift

with this stretch

Now onto Child's pose,then Corpse

Okay...okay....it's a start

maybe if I do this every morning for a week

I will salute the sun

...if we ever get any

-joy-

 

magpie tale 103

truth can be unholdable
piercing and impaling
we reach for it
its shards slicing us down
to our held beliefs
sometimes to our brilliant graves



http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

holding your children
ability to carry
all their life of them

lonely evening walk
water vapor condenses
evening clouds of thought

Oh, how I love foggy nights

Last night before turning in, I glanced out of the bedroom window

and there it was....that mysterious atmosphere

 light and fog mingling like a magic show

If it hadn't been so late I might have put on my shoes and walked in it

enter a world often ignored or feared

I remember being afraid of it when I was small

expecting Dracula or the werewolf or Frankenstein

to appear

And it can be horrific to drive in it....just think about the horror in Florida this past week

But have you ever walked a city street
 surrounded by it?

It has an exciting still quiet about it

I could walk for miles



 this wonderful photo from google images
 by Daniel Seguin..Stranger in the fog





busy hands still mind

 iron glides across the board

pressing out my thoughts

My wonderful,loving,teddy bear of a brother

is recovering just fine

Doctor says it's all in his attitude

My sister-in-law said he sang into the nebulizer this morning

ha!....he's an old rocker from the 60's....heavy metal kind

and he's still at it....living his dream..singing and writing songs

I just know that his presence will touch someone there in the hospital that needs it

he's just that kind of a wonderful human being....

Thank you for your warm kind words and prayers for my brother and me

I needed them

Today I am going to iron

let my thoughts wander

where they will....

and where they want

if I just let go

Holding an iron is much like holding a pen

things happen

things get released

things are unearthed

but in the end, in a quiet room

filled with luxurious steam

smelling oh so clean

fabrics get the wrinkles out

whether it's my good tablecloth

or the heart aching fabrics of my life

..joy...



she drains into me
I collect and channel her
words into my sea

It's not the berries getting quadruple bypass
but that's what my little brother is having this morning
oy
Today it's off to Indiana to sit and wait
and hand wring and pray
and walk the floors of the hospital
He wasn't as lucky as my husband
But he does have a guardian angel
who got him to the doc just in time to head off
the widow maker
Truthfully, I am exhausted in the heart


maybe I'll take up painting again
my strawberries aren't that bad 

magpie tales # 102 the art of joy

joy tends to splatter
and most times it boomerangs
smiles everywhere



http://magpietales.blogspot.com

Today, I shall dance in what is
catch its  breeze in the fringe of my coat
twirl to possibilities,shining on my face
Yes, today I shall dance in what is
step my moccasins
on sadness
turn my face to the sound of eagle
 lift my arms like wings

I caved.....
I came home with a big handful of seed packets
I needed it
dreams of summer blooms drifting through my mind
and I always wait too long
and the morning glory heavenly blues are always the first to go
BUT HA!
this year
I got them!

4 packets
that's a lot of heavenly blue

I also got four o'clocks
My dad used to grow those in the backyard
one of the few good memories of his childhood
on the westside of Chicago-Taylor street
I have never had any luck growing them
...last year...out of all those seeds..only 4 sprouted
and guess what....the landscaper who helps me weed the front of the house
thought she was doing me a favor by going around the side of the house
and PULLED THEM OUT
..oh the tears a gardener sheds

But today..with my trusty teacup and a few garden books
and a notepad...I'm dreaming
blue

I have always collected
but
I am not a collector,
except for a short period of time when
I couldn't get enough of old readers
old bottles,and  lusterware teapots..(want one?)
No, my collecting began when I was first able to walk around the neighborhood
on my own....I filled my pockets with rocks and marbles
and broken pieces of anything shiny..that I found along the way
I loved adventure...and this was treasure hunting
My best finds were an old Italian coin
an arrowhead....that I retrieved out of the Fox river
a fossil of a snail in limestone that I dug out of the sand
while wading in Lake Michigan
a tiny brass pin with a flower basket on it made out of mosaic pieces
a red shooter marble
...
the only thing I still have is that pin

As I go through my closets,drawers,basement,and garage,
hoping to clear more things out,
I realize that I have always saved things that have had meaning to me

Now, I am saving every drawing that my granddaughter sends me..dating them
and placing them in a big white scrapbook

I have an old cabinet in the basement that has been opened only a few times since we moved here
17 years ago...and that cabinet moved along with us from three previous homes
dare I open it today....of course....
stuff....grand old stuff......from almost everyone that I have ever loved
Stuff that when you see it it transports you

I will be traveling today
back..to where only I can go

stuff..maybe that's why
 I have saved all  of these things
...for just a day as this...
when I need to go back and touch my life
touch everyone that I have loved who is gone
shed a few tears of love and longing
make room for the ones yet to come

magpie tale # 101...

edward's syndrome

daughter in the womb
snug in fetal postion
as your mother weeps

http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

ah...now this is winter
I took a  short walk out front
I just love the sound of things in snow
so still, so silent, so muffled
just the distant sound of a snowblower
Like being in a strange land
where all is well

 

oh, it is so cold this morning

even the cats are still curled up  in the covers, not wanting to get up

I guess Iwill have to turn the heat up if they are to come down...spoiled felines

I need to do a bit of grocery shopping this morning,then I will spend the rest of the day

pouring through my garden books

yep, garden books.....have you ever visited my garden blog? http://agardenwench.blogspot.com/

Yes, I have another life

and it is this life that sustains me....

It is a bit cold to go outside....and besides...I have been eaten out of house and home...as they say..

by the birds and squirrels....I hope I find  seed at the store, and don't have to

wander around looking for grub for my wards all over our town.

 I had a wonderful day with my mom, seeing a movie at the library

I was the youngest one there...and I'm no youngster

Afterwards we went for a bite to eat...and I walked out without paying the bill!

Do you believe that!?!?

Once inside my car I realized this and went right back inside to pay the bill.

But I just know that our sweet young waitress took a tongue lashing from her boss

I saw it on her face........good thing I tipped her very well

I guess my mind has been other places lately

and this mistake gave me a laugh with my mother....it was wonderful

as were the photos of Finn that showed up in my email

He is coming over today...I get to kiss those checks in person

today........joy...relief

I asked for joy and light
look what showed up in my mail box

...Finn

I cannot live in shadows
alone

Today, I am going to spend the day with my mom
we are going to see a movie
and then maybe go for soup and bread
at our favorite little neighborhood spot
we'll speak much without saying a word
but a burden shared
 is half the burden
and she has been my rock all of my life
we shall comfort each other
Love...what a grand thing

Happy jack was waiting this morning
for a hand out....I love how squirrels sit up and clasp their paws together
by their chest.....their tails bushed, sometimes flipping about
as they see that you have seen them.......food!
Okay, I admit it.....I belong to the Thornton Burgess way of thinking
...can't help it...I was born with this attitude
I love fur and fin and feathers
especially in my garden...where it becomes available to me
at anytime of the day for joy,comfort and amusement
I'm already itching to garden..and we are hardly into winter
...this year I am going to makeover some areas of the garden that have gotten old
remove a deck
put up more feeders and houses
oh! this brings me such joy thinking about it
and Lord knows, I need some joy right now
and the garden is always faithful to provide
So Happy Jack......it won't be long...the peanuts are coming
...but I must reprimand you for the chew marks on the deck rail....naughty
good thing I'm planning on taking it down
ah...dreaming...another gift we humans have been given by the Master Gardener