Saturday, September 26, 2009

I feel like this horsechestnut leaf I painted yesterday..hanging on to summer...but it's getting harder. I must learn to let go..over and over again. There's that word.. again...ooh!
Changing my life was really harder in the letting go then the going forward. It's where I rested myself for too many the land of not of me. I had to learn to let go of regret. Regret that I had wasted so much of my life as a dead creative. I had to mourn that I never went on and figured out who I was as a woman.
I was a wife,mom,sister,daughter,friend. But that wasn't me. That's who I was to someone else. My history came through their eyes. I had to see me through my own eyes... and I didn't see woman...that sensual,sexual being I was created to be.
It was painful to let go of regret.
It was hard work to connect the dots to how I got that way
I had to empty to fill
Like the horsechestnut leaf holding onto the branch..not seeing the buds that had already set,
I finally let go and surrendered to a new season.
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  1. Beautiful painting (what medium) and beautiful words. The image is simplistic yet has layers of meaning. The symbolism that you personalize to yourself is very heartfelt.
    We need to let go of the old and surrender to the new buds within. Life is cyclic.
    You are blooming very well, it seems.

  2. Hmmm sounds like where I'm at...stuck. Love the painting.

  3. I'm not there anymore Elena...sigh..hope
    But there are many times I have to be deliberate in what I do to stay there
    It is only a watercolor "sketch"...I was outside cleaning up the yard and saw the one leaf shriveling,changing colors..holding on...."Yes,I know.." I wasnter to whisper in its me...let'll see it's easy

  4. That didn't come out right...what I mean to'm not in that space of regret and void...
    But I must be deliberate in what I do to stay where I am now...a place of full-ness

  5. Beautiful little watercolor! Beautiful color of the horsechestnut. Pretty washy sky. It's reaching for the stars!

  6. thanks April...I dn't have a clue what I'm doing with what I paint anyway


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