Wednesday, February 17, 2010

From Tallgrass Writer's Guild's Black and White Anthology

The subject matter of the anthology was "wild things"
this was my take on that:

ANNIVERSARY MEAL

We were eating medium rare prime rib,drinking Diet Cokes
when they walked in
dressed in black leather,fringed vests,boots and bandanas
They took two tables and banged them together
moved chairs around as they pleased
On of them, handsome, with salt and peppered long hair
tied behind his head in a ponytail
flung his chair around, straddled his long legs over it
...as if her were mounting a horse
I tried to ignore them,
but I kept looking over
drawn to the fun they were having
as they slapped hands,talked loudly,and swore
with abandon,throwing their heads backwards with laughter,

as we ate our meal quielty.

How many meals have I eaten this way?

They were drinking beer out of bottles,
including the one woman with them
whose tee shirt was torn
just above her left breast;
there,tattooed,a slivered moon with indigo stars
Large silver hooped earrings skimmed her neck
as she leaned over to the long-legged guy
kissed his lips...like a porn star

The waitress brought us two more Diet Cokes
...asked if there was anything else
she could get us...

I don't think they have new lives in that kitchen

So, I politely said  No, raised my glass
watched
as the bikers clinked their bottles.

**

10 comments:

  1. Great stuff Suz, a very descriptive piece!

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  2. Love it.... nice story.

    www.dirtygirlgarden.com

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  3. Good job...set the scene and I was there too! Writing is a strong force with you...more, more!!

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  4. Powerful scene setting and a fascinating glimpse into the mind and life of the viewer, "I don't think they have new lives in that kitchen" Wow!

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  5. Brilliant - a really evocative story delivered in so few words.

    (You are really good suz. :-))

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  6. Dirty girl garden!!!!!! Now I have to go visit her!..being the garden wench and all!
    Thank you M.Heart!
    Mary Ann..couldn't you just see that tattoo! Thanks!
    I don't think they have new lives in that kitchen..was almost cut from the piece...I freaked out...that is THE line..thanks glad you saw it
    Evocative susannah...wow..thanks!

    I love you guys!

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  7. That is a powerful piece of writing. I had to read it twice to really get it. Excellent!

    (Is it wrong that now I'm craving prime rib?)

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  8. as long as you have diet coke with it,Cory

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  9. suz, as usual you can paint the most vivid pictures in just a few words and add to that understandable emotion. you're amazing!

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  10. Why Janean thank you....glad you chose the one toe over the line photo!

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