Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Begin again....getting harder. Just look at all those wrinkles and droopy lids.
I wanted to be at goal weight by Feb. ...not looking good.
Maybe it's the dreary weather...
maybe it's the overbooked life
maybe maybe maybe
I really had to have a good talk with myself this morning
Remember what worked?..why have you abandoned those ways?
I'm hardly even writing anymore....
I'm shutting up
I'm letting it roll off my back
It never is about dieting
It's about living true
it's about not swallowing feelings...good or bad ones
it's about expression
Whether I do it with my clothes
it is always expression
of self...the self only I know is real
and wants out
My choices right now are not expressive
in a creative way
and that is crucial for me
I am a creative person
a wild at heart person
a rule breaker
a sensual being
a devourer of life
One look in the mirror and I knew...
it showed on my face
it wasn't the years...though they are packing on
but it's not about age.. one bit
I know this
I had to love myself enough to have this talk
get your ass back expressing
or you will die
bit by bit again
and that is not the kind of
begin again I want
It is not either or...
know this Susan
your sadness is of your own making
you know the way