Thursday, July 29, 2010

magpie tale

Magpie tale # 25....it's hard to believe

Willow,at
http://magpietales.blogspot.com/
hosts a weekly writing prompt
Write something using the below photo
as your inspiration


  

All these years I've kept the lock
just to prove to myself that it really happened
Hour upon hour of darkness and hunger
just a crack of light at my feet
I could hear her heavy footsteps
and her stopping every once in a while
sending warm pee down my leg
I'd close my eyes fearing
that she might smell it
and I would be blinded by the light
as the lock turned  
The day we moved from that old house
I stole the lock and spit inside that prison
under the stairs, hoping that maybe,
in the new house, she would forget about me
But there are things people
just don't forget

***Magpie tale of fiction  # 25

32 comments:

  1. The view from the child's eye makes this particularly powerful. It chilled me.

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  2. Wow! I want to think you have an incredible imagination. I hope no one lived in that old house, it wasn't you, it wasn't you.....I knew you then and I longed for you. I loved the child that you were.

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  3. oh that was hard hitting...sad and scary what happens to children..masterfully told...

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  4. Amazing writing told through the eyes of a child...I hope you did not experience this yourself!
    :-)

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  5. Very scary - that so many poor children would experience something just like this - terrible thought.

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  6. my stomach is churning at what is the best pyscho thriller peice i've read in a long time! the very thought that the child feels that she is finally free, yet the terror has only moved to a new address! suz, your magpie is spine tingling!!

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  7. Very well done - a lifetime of terror in a few words.

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  8. scary and vivid indeed, do hope it was not you or anyone you know...the writing was superb and Stephen King --scary...but I do not read him...I am a fairytale person myslef....Great Magpie..bkm

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  9. chilling imagination-bravo-great magpie

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  10. Very sad - I hope this isn't autobiographical!

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  11. I hope the child grew up to overcome the damage done.

    A very good magpie.

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  12. What a sad and chilling story. Child abuse is horrible. You expressed that child's fears very well.

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  13. magnificent highlight of a child's fear and how one would do things to escape...

    very intriguing magpie!
    you did very well!
    ;)

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  14. This is a powerfully well written piece, Suz.

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  15. ohhh... this sent shivers up my spine...
    poignant and powerful and so well written

    (thank you for your kind words on that post)

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  16. Deep and dark ... and so well done!

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  17. Beautifully and sparely told - oh, well done!

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  18. Disturbing... wonderful writing

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  19. Brilliant piece, Suz. "Red Dragon-ish"...chilling.

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  20. What children see, well, they never forget! Well done..

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  21. Oh I do hope this was fiction, it would be too cruel for a child.
    It read true!

    Christine

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  22. Oh my Suz,
    this is so raw, I felt that vulnerability and clarity of a child's expression. Great job.

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  23. Dear Suz...

    Made me think Anne Frank and all the children who had an intense and unforgivable childhood. Unforgivable that the world let them grow up in such pain.

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  24. Oh !! This was chilling and haunting!
    There are so many things we REALLY wish to forget, but just don't seem to!
    And you've captured that nervous feeling of being reminded again, quite perfectly here!

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  25. scary, giving voice to darkness in children's lives. I'm glad she still had spirit enough to spit, i liked that image a lot. great work,

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