Susan at http://www.stonyriver.ie/
hosts a weekly writing prompt
using the below drawing write something
using 140 characters or less
He grieved like his woman
for his child
Rivers and rivers of sorrow stars
blazing in the sky
and he thought he saw one
that was theirs
-139- characters of fiction
May I indulge a bit for a comment about something in this poem?
the first line....in the drawing I noticed that the image was mostly male in the body
but the face female.....okay..good start for something interesting
now ...in my first line...I originally had "He grieved like a woman....Then I wrote..He grieved like his woman. Very subtle change... the power of one word in a poem...
any comments? ideas on this?
oh and would you put an apostrophe at the word theirs