Remember this story?
...my version below
Sally Brown was always first in line eager to sit in the front row where Mr. Schumann, the choir director,could see her. She liked him and wanted him to hear her sing. Mr. Schumann's wife picked her up that night so she could attend Christmas Eve service. It was important to her that she do her best tonight.
When Mr. Schumann signaled for all to rise she shot straight up and on his command began to sing at the top of her lungs. Sally wanted to please her teacher, but she also wanted very much to please God. She had paid attention in Sunday school. She knew that God liked singing; that's why He had the angels sing for the baby Jesus,filling the sky with glory to God. And who had taught the angels to sing? Why it had to be God, she thought. Yes, she wanted God to hear her, so she sang as loudly as she could and with all her heart.
When the service was over, she smiled at Mr. Schumann who smiled back at her. Sally then rushed to the church basement to hang up her choir robe. She looked around for her parents as excitement filled her entire body. She couldn't wait to tell them that she was sure that God had heard her sing and that she was sure He was pleased that she had done her very best. Twenty minutes passed before she decided to go back up to the church to see if they were waiting there for her.
""Do you need a ride home?" Mr. Schumann asked her, about to leave.
"No, they're coming," she said smiling,"They're always late."
He patted her on the head. "Merry Christmas, Sally."
"Merry Christmas,Mr. Shumann. Mr. Schumann,do you think God hears us sing?"
"Of course He does Sally," Mr. Schumann said before leaving.
Sally looked around the church and when she hadn't found them she went to the coat rack and pulled down her white rabbit coat that her neighbor Miss Simms had given her,put it on and went outside. No one was around and it was very cold and dark,only the stars sparkled in the night sky. She didn't have boots or mittens,mother had told her that she hadn't had time or money to get her any. Maybe,Sally thought,Santa had come and she would have them under the tree. It started to snow and she didn't know what to do all alone,so she sat on the church steps and waited. The snow fell like fairy dust on her red hair. She was scared and looked up at the dark, starfilled sky,and pretended to look for the Star of Bethlehem. Her lips were chapped,but she managed to ask God if He wanted to hear her sing Oh Little Town of Bethlehem. It was one of her favorites. She fell asleep singing.
It was morning before anyone found her. The temperature had dipped to 10 degrees that night. They said she looked like a snow-covered angel. It took almost five hours to find her parents passed out drunk at a friend's house. They had forgotten about her.
Sally,though,was happy. She was in the first row and everyone was smiling at her in her new robe. In front of her was a different choir director,one who seemed to shine like the Star of Bethlehem. As usual, Sally sang as loudly as she could. Only this time she hoped Mr. Schumann would hear her.
A new take on an old story. I found this in my writer's box. A box where you stash unfinished work. This had come from a class where we were to retell an old story in a different way. I'm not sure I did the assignment. I ditched it and wrote a different one,but I like this story anyway. So I dusted it off and finished it. My husband hates it. But I see the greater message and it lifts my heart. I hope it does for you also.