Filling

I had a girlfriend who was addicted to garage sales. Then she got addicted to thrift stores. What do you do with all that stuff you drag home? She was constantly changing things around. She was fabulously gifted at decorating with repurposed items. Everytime she got a table done...dishes, napkins,new chandelier,new chairs/table..who knows what else..she would have company over for dinner. Ever piece was "new". She was a pretty good cook, too. That was the death knell for her. Something finished...that's when the craziness would begin. She would have her own gargage sales and get rid of it all. But that left space and guess what? She filled every corner of her house with stuff all over again. And it was beautiful. She was the most unhappy woman I know.  She hated empty corners or shelves...she was always filling. 
I have another friend who fills ever corner or space with fake flowers and baskets. She thinks every space needs filling.
And now that I look back, I can say that I suffered a form of this, too. As a young wife with limited funds, I wanted to decorate my home. What do you do with no money...you fill with stuff..little stuff everywhere. But it is never filled. Because it is not what you really want... it just makes do. Don't get me wrong..it was nice and pretty..but it wasn't what I wanted...but I, at the time, had no awareness, that I didn't know, what I wanted. Make sense? So I kept filling. I wish I would have seen this filling syndrome earlier. Fill, fill, fill. Fill your life with work, kids, home, pets, art, anything -that takes away the need to fill our true emptiness.
What I needed to fill was me.  
I began a journey of discovery. I journeyed alone...as it really has to be.
My happiness at discovering the "I" was a journey of joy and sorrow...hard to explain..sometimes, I had to let go of things..not fill with things.